We Try, To Subside, the Pain We Hide

Feelings and emotions we try to hide.
Ups and downs locked safely inside.

Everyone is wounded, we all have our pride.
No matter how hard we try, we have all cried.

Everyone at times turn into a Jekyll and Hyde.
Our emotions rise and fall upon life's landslide.

Trying to hide this pain without feeling we've died
Lost all hopes of a cure to be supplied

Feelings may collide on life's roller coaster ride.
The lucky ones learn to take everything in stride.

Have faith, our joy and pain will always subside.
Our sufferings have much to say in the coming tide.

Pray for us, stay with us but never push us aside.
Always we try, to subside, the pain we hide.

 

Reviews

[Carole]

Wow-who can't relate with this? We try to subside the pain we hide inside!

This poem is astounding. I love it . I am thinking you might tweak the flow just a hair to make it flow even better....In the first line, if you took out deep-what would you think of the flow?

Fourth line: No matter how hard we try, we all have cried. (What about switching a couple of words to "We have all cried?)

In the 8th line, "Lost all hope of a cure found that can be supplied"
Could you drop some words and say, Lost all hope of a cure to be supplied?

I am thinking dropping those few words would make it flow even better. Your poem is amazing and packs a powerful punch. It is so good, I just thought tightening it up a bit would make it even better. Great job, Bren! Try reading it both ways with and without the words I suggested. Its up to you. :-)

Well done! Carole

[Shawna]

I liked it. I understand trying to hide the pain.

[L.G. Knight]

Amazing work you wrote this when sleep deprived?! very very very nicely done!

[forfila]

nice Brenda, I liked the flow and rhym, and you came up with some very beautiful notions that were put with excellent and well worded precision..

Love
Me

[None]

Nowadays, if you speak up because you don't feel like putting up with someone elses overbearing crap and sorry treatment you are labeled, "bipolar." It's a great money maker for the psychiatric field and so many without money or insurance go undiagnosed and untreated. Many psychiatric disorders are only for those with insurance. Some people buy into the thoughts that they are bipolar or depressed and sink into the tank. ( I work at a hospital and have seen it all)
There are those who are ill, usually due to an extremely tragic circumstance, and having a gene that causes them to be more vulnerable than most-- who develop an illness due to that tragic situation.The same thing happens to those with the gene for MS if they have to much stress.
By not succumbing to any illness in your brain-- but by doing therapy and taking proper medication--you can put off the guilt and stigmatisms attached and these are the best ways to combat the effects of an illness on your body and mind.
Your poem is well written and is very well expressed! Thank you for letting me go on here. lol.

[Sean M. Addams]

I can relate to this one ... very well done.... lots of truth and heart put into this. ....great job

[justjenn_2u]

As you already know, I can relate to this well. I like the way you speak of feelings and emotions that we try to hide. Always being asked "What's wrong with you?" becomes so annoying. I am glad you wrote a piece to help others with bipolar know we aren't the only ones. Keep it up!

[Blackbirdsong]

Brenda I like this and the message behind it, though I wonder if it would read better if you abandoned the rhyming and just wrote it in free verse instead.

[Tania Leigh]

This could apply to all types of depression....a very well-written, accurate depiction of the Darkness.

Great poem, Brenda!

[Candle in the wind]

I love this simple empathy , this desire to reach out and give your embalming touch of hope and love.