The Agony of Silence

A transatlantic collaboration by Phil Sanders and Brenda Sue. (Navy is Phil and Wine is Brenda)

She doesn't understand ...
My life has changed
My needs are varied like the winds of time ...
Taking my heart to new beginnings ...
Different desires ...
The past lies buried in the ground ...

He doesn't understand...
Life has changed me
Together, alone, in this prison we call home...
Fantasies have become my only escape...
Always exhausted...
My heart dreams of days gone by...

She doesn't understand...
Frustration abounds...
I am locked into suburban boredom
My mind is dulled and my passion doused
A sensual frozen waste...
My soul is frozen and bound...

He doesn't understand...
The magic is gone...
A special touch, a loving look, our favorite song...
Could make so much difference...
Passion renew...
The future looks dim unless I get through to him...

She doesn't understand...
Her kisses infrequent and cold
The touch like winter and snow
I need the fire igniting again ... my body aroused
Tired and lonely
My heart screams for love...

He doesn't understand....
Loneliness lurks...
I need him to hold me, not scold me
Imprisoned by duty's chains...
Vague memories of young love...
Vanished like a dream lost in the night...

We don't understand...
What happened to us
We're living the life of our parents...
Doing what we said we would never do
Him in one corner, her in another...
Where has the magic gone?

SILENCE..........................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Navy is Phil and Wine is Brenda, Gray is what both are thinking.

Reviews

[E. M. Murren]

Your individual passions burn so brightly in this work that melded thus the reader is mesmerized while identifying with the sentiments. You have defined the problem in so many relationships so well. The goals to acheive as well as the mountain which each needs to terain. Fabulous work.

[KatiePie]

Wow, this was amazing, format, flow, and meaning, beautiful work :)

[The Wandering Cactus]

I like the format of your poem. The colors you use to differentiate between the two people was a great idea. You really get your point across in this poem. The only thing that I would suggest is to take out the elipses at the end of each line. You can leave some of them in for emphasis but too many makes them kind of redundant. These are just suggestions and thank you for the poem.

[Lloyd Lofthouse]

Your poem gives us a sat but true picture of too many modern marriages where there is so much free time compared to our ancestors that had to work the land sixteen hours a day six days a week to survive--no time to get bored. Marriage "WAS" a partnership in survival. Today, marriage is a job that requires hard work to stay in touch with the changes taking place in a partner or there is a danger somewhere along the path of life, one will find unwanted solitude and endless silence waiting--not counting the noise from TV, Internet, and iPods.

[jen -- JG]

Too true - loss of communication can take a toll on anyone - lovers, friends and family. We tend to become so much a part of the other that we believe HE/ SHE SHOULD KNOW WHAT I WANT/NEED WITHOUT MY SAYING ANYTHING!

It doesn't always work that way and feeds a whole nest of hurt feelings and nutures despair.

This combined poem tells the story well, both people needing/wanting the same things but each too "proud" to say so.

I found the "both think stanza a little confusing
(We don't understand...
What happened to us
We're living the life of our parents...
Doing what we said we would never do
Him in one corner, her in another... -
Where has the magic gone?)

Phil, I think here you need to say you in one coner - me (or I) in another
just a thought because "him in one corner, her in another" doesn't seem to fit well with what they are both thinking here.

A damn good write and touching on the sensitive issue of not enough communication plus the consequences very well.

Cheers

jen-JG

[Yemaya Theresa]

It is sad and realistic to what happens to many relationships as they become stagnant . Loves ebbs & flows. This I think many can relate to. Beautifully written. I like the color variation.

[Sr.phil]

i get the coloring scheme, not to big on it though. It a nice piece, how loves decays in time without affection.

[Sandra K]

What an interesting story. This is a new type of writing to me. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing this lovely piece.

Sandra K!

[Kara Emily Krantz]

love this. really representative of the feelings that really do go along in marriages. and if only these thoughts were verbalized... in an open communication, then life could be differnet for so many people, and so many families.

in my marriage and family class... it was enlightening to realize that the reason couples therapy hardly ever works and has such a low success rate is because .. people wait too long to work on their issues. they build too much, with feelings like this poem expresses, that by the time it gets to be too much to stand, you're way past the point of compromise.

really great job. unique and very well done

[Karen Raquepo]

Wow,This is for real and flows with touching terms,plus the style adds an emotion to this piece.Wonderful writing!