Smolder

His touch, like velvet... I remember it all.

Never in my 25 years of life would I think I would be keeping secrets, especially from the people I love the most. I can't tell this secret. Jake is everything I could ever want. He is the best fiancee, he is so supportive of me, and he loves me unconditionally. Lexi is so much like my own flesh and blood sister. We have been friends since we were five, and have never kept secrets. My name is Izzy, and I'm in love with my best friends brother.

Growing up with Lexi had its advantages, like being welcomed into the family with open arms. Being part of a big family has always been one of my dreams, especially since I am an only child, and my parent don't get along. Going to luxurious parties, and always having a crush on Eric, Lexi's older brother. Eric has always seen me as the little kid, or his little sister's best friend, jail bait, or even the forbidden. In my eyes, he was everything. Green eyes, lean taut muscles, tall frame and a mouth to die for. Thinking back on my memory of him, I picture him perfectly. I see him perfectly. Clear as the day he told me he would never be in love with me, that I was just a fling until he went back to college. My nineteen year old heart was crushed, but what can I say? I had what I wanted that summer. I had Eric. In any way I could have gotten him.

Looking back, I think I was stupid to have a secret affair with my best friends brother. He was my secret then, and now he still is. Putting on my last earring I call out to Jake asking if he was ready. We are attending Lexi's engagement party, and word is Eric will be there with his new “woman” Tanya. As we leave my mind instantly goes back to those forbidden memories and the feelings I felt when I was with him. Then the guilt. “I am engaged! How Could I ever possibly think of any other man other than Jake? Those moments were 6 years ago, I'm changed and I'm sure he is”, I mentally berate myself. Once arrived, Jake and I make our way into the foyer, and I easily spot Lexi. “Oh my god, Izzy”! Is all I hear before she throws herself into my arms. Being with her floods with me warmth and happiness and love I can almost choke on it. “Congratulations Lex, Brandon sure is something delicious” and I give her a squeeze and chuckle. “He sure is, sure is” she purred and looked over to Brandon grinning like the cat wanting the canary. “Enough of chit chat, how have you been? Set a date yet? Oh! I forgot to tell you, Mom and Dad have a late engagement present for you, and Eric brought that awful, heinous witch with him this weekend” she jabbers on and on. I try to suppress the frown I know is forming on my face. “Speak of the devil! There they are now! Look” she murmurs and points to where Jake is, talking to a couple with their backs to us.

I would know that back better than anyone, and for a minute I”m frozen, completely frozen. What is Jake doing talking to them? Talking to him I thought, and then remember he doesn't know. As I look at the couples back Jake calls me over. “Izz, come here baby, meet Eric's new fiancee”. My stomach drops, not from seeing him again, but from knowing he has a new fiancee??? As I make my way over his head turns and I see those lips that I had kissed so many times I lost count, the lips that have kissed me, loved me for a whole summer. Looking into his smoldering green eyes, I'm captivated. Seeing those eyes, that once burned for me light up in recognition warmed me all over. Sauntering my way over I go to Jake and am welcomed into his arms. As I look into the eyes of the man I once loved all those years ago, I am hit with wave after wave of warmth, and I learn that those feelings have not left. My feelings for him haven't left and I am screwed.

“Izzy, it's a true pleasure to see you again! You've grown up. Became a woman, a beautiful woman at that” he says in his smooth, honey dipped voice. “Hello Eric, it has been a long time hasn't it? 6 years and all” I say stoically, lifting one perfect eyebrow. “And it is so nice to meet your beautiful...”? “Fiancee” he replies in a clipped tone. “Hello my name is Izzy, and I'm assuming your Tanya. So nice to meet you” I say as I hold out my hand. The “witch” as Lex called her earlier raises her nose and takes my hand like it is infected. Turning to Jake, I tell him we have to find Lex and Brandon. As we go to part Eric's hand shoots out to stop me. Looking into his eyes, his now warm, burning, eyes I now see it all. All those memories are still with him, and I see that now I am still desperately in love with his man. At that moment I forgot I was with another man, and I definitely didn't care if he was with another woman.