Of Dragons and Princesses

Both Dragon and Knight are perplexed when an innocent-looking Princess whips out a gun and begins fearlessly rattling out bullets at the huge, fire-breathing lizard.

Of Dragons and Princesses

 

           

 

            The princess giggled sweetly, a lovely, high-pitched, tinkling laugh that echoed eerily throughout the dark confines of the cave. Smoke curled lazily, drooling from the mouth of the gun dangling from her fingers. She was quite a sight: ridiculously high, tapering hat complete with streamers snapping from its peak; twisting golden hair that fell and whispered about her slim shoulders; billowing dress sweeping languidly around her feet; wolfish grin and gleaming gun trained upon the sleepily blinking eye of the dragon.

            "Sweetie, sweetie... no one has to get hurt, m'kay? Just step away from the treasure chest. C'mon..." She crooned softly at the beast - glancing surreptitiously at the massive chest canted in blue-grey rock, beneath the protective paw slung over its lid, overflowing with gold and copper and silver - tempting riches, just out of reach. The dragon just gazed back, irritatingly unflappable. Unbelievably vast, coiled like a snake, head tipped curiously as it stared down at the princess who was still sporting a wide, cocksure grin. Fearsome, horned, wings tucked and pressed down upon it's burnished copper back, a trail of hooked spikes wandering towards the flat arrow-head of its tail.

            The princess paused, awaiting a response. The dragon remained stock still - save for its eyes, the pupils swelling and shrinking, swelling and shrinking, in a frenzied dance of looking. Looking at this tiny, angry creature. In the lightest of clothing, without a hint of fear - most of those who came seeking battle with him preferred the reassuring weight of metal, and even they could not hide the telltale quiver of fear tightening their movements and moistening their brow. How curious.

            She cocked the gun and poised to fire, the muscles in her bare arms tightening visibly, lips twisting into a sneer. Still, the dragon did not move. Behind her, night was unfurling, reaching out to swallow the fleeing azure of the day, consuming the light and draining the colour from the world. Stars winked and moonlight spilled onto the grass. A stand-off, lasting for mere seconds, but both princess and dragon were aware of the falling night, the creeping pale fingers of white light, the last furtive glint of red vanishing below hulking silhouetted hills. Her finger slipped onto the trigger. This had been fun, and she was rather enjoying watching the perplexed amusement upon the dragon's face - it likely had no idea what a gun was, she reflected - and its mocking indifference would rapidly melt as soon as the bullet was embedded in its brain. A similar thought passed through the dragon - he was rather enjoying the casual defiance of the girl, with the knowledge that he could set her ablaze and screaming in a matter of seconds. That stick she was flaunting could do nothing to him. He was, of course, a dragon.

            But before either could move, a shout rang.

            "Wait! Wait! Princess! I..." A shape emerged from the blackness, staggered and heaved a breath, armour jangling. "Have... come... to save you..."

            "Oh god. For christ's sake."

            The armoured fool stumbled, coming to a messy halt just before the princess, who glanced at him disdainfully, but kept the gun rigid. The dragon did not fail to notice that moment where her focus wavered - and lunged.

            Scales scraped against the cave roof as it sprang from the cave in a single, fluid motion. It roared, copper flames exploding into the cold blue night, chasing away the darkness for a brief second before it sunk in again - as momentary as a flash of lightning, and as mesmerising. The princess groaned and lurched backwards, just out of reach. "I was just about to shoot him you imbecile!"  she hollered along the way, cursing the idiocy of this man.

            He looked perplexed. "But I'm here to save you... that piece of metal can't possibly save you from that--"

            But the dragon was not finished. Slithering from the cave, and sending them racing in the opposite direction in order to escape the reach of flame and tooth and claw - it reared and screamed raucously at the stars, short, sharp, grating shrieks that reminded the princess of a bird.

            Leaving the chest unguarded.

            The princess paused, whirling around to glare at the huge shape blotting out the sky. A few metres away, her 'rescuer' looked terrified.

            "I was told you wouldn't have escaped yet!" he hissed.

            She snorted derisively. "Escaped what? I think you got the wrong girl. I came here to slay the dragon and get me some riches." The gun bucked in her hands as she sent a single bullet whistling towards the dragon. A plume of flame burst from where the bullet tore off a scale, and the beast squealed in rage. Eyes as bright as the sun fixed upon the miniscule shape of the Princess and her companion - the dragon chastised himself for underestimating the power of that 'stick'. He opened his jaws and flame poured forth, licking at the grass and trees and bushes - yet the two irritating creatures scrambled away.

            The princess twisted the gun and fired off another two shots, answering clangs and spillages of smoke and fire proving just how good a shot she was. The Knight edged towards her, glancing questioningly at the pistol in her hand. "What kind of... witchcraft is this? Where's the princess? Some messenger at town told me he saw a princess travelling towards the dragon's lair!"

            She didn't even grace that with a response, instead focusing on ducking to avoid the swing of the dragon's tail. The knight wasn't quite so lucky - the point of its arrowhead tail caught his forehead with a crunch, and both his helmet and his legs crumpled as he lurched to the ground with a scream. The princess still ignored him.

            She circled the dragon, firing until she was out, and the gun merely clicked feebly. Tearing the used clip from the weapon and tossing it away, she refitted another but had no opportunity to fire - as another cascade of hot flame send her scurrying away.

            The dragon was growing angry. Hot blood, steaming and smoking, was falling in rivulets down his scales. Weariness threatened to pull him under, pain stabbed through every hole in his skin, but fury drove him onwards. The idea that he was being defeated by this puny creature after so many years of driving human after human away was humiliating. He roared mightily, and snaked forwards, maw wide and thick with a jungle of fangs.

            She fired into his mouth.

            And the dragon stopped dead. Slumping forwards - crushing the flopping body of the knight. And the chest was in full view.

            She smirked and flipped the gun in the air, catching it and sleekly slipping it into the pocket of her dress. Thank god for time travel, she reflected. And he had been right - coming here in Princess's garb had made the dragon reckless, underestimating her - and they never knew quite what to do when faced with a gun.

            She was going to be rich.

Author's Note

admittedly this isn't fully proofread. but please tell me if you like it! i enjoyed writing it aha.