chap 2 Abass

Again Abas woke up to his sister crying. “What’s wrong Saya? Bad dreams.” asked Abas. 

“Yea ever scents mom’s death I have been have terrible nightmares .” replied Saya. 

“Well that’s no surprise you seen our mom butchered to death.” Said Abas After Karose died his wife to be had his child, but it was not just one but two. Kaya to support her kids took up her old job working in a brothel. One of her drunken customers followed her home then because she would not give out any more he killed her, he took the family air loom a finely crafted sword then started to cut her in to pieces in front of her daughter Saya, after words he had his way with Saya and left her with a scar sanding her whole body. As Saya lay on the floor bleeding out, Abas came home from his weeklong hunt. He coverd her up in some spare cloth that was laying around, then about 2 months later he was working at a tavern/inn, he over herd some customers bragging about what they did to a s**t and her kid. Then a over whelming anger arose in Abas,

 “Why did u kill her you a*s and how could you do that to my baby sister.” Yelled Abas 

“Because she pissed me off and I started her replacements training.” Said the brut of a man, that was a whole head taller than Abas. Abas was about 5.6 feet tall, had the build of a blacksmith, light pale gold hair with emerald green eyes. As soon as the man’s statement past thro his ears he snapped, all of a sudden there was a black mist involved his person. He starts to walk toward the man, his body starts to change he starts to develop claws, his breath becomes visible almost like there was a fire in his stomach. He charges the man he dug his hand in to his chest ant rips out his hart as it was still beating he slowly stuck one of his claws in to it, as soon as the claw penetrated the out wall of the hart and entered one of the verticals Abas was showered in blood, as the blood sprayed out of the hart Abas was laughing. This was three months ago on the anniversary of his dad’s death he had been dead for 18 years, Abas was 17 and Saya was 17 to they where twins. As he sat there that night consoling his sister there came a knock on the door. 

“How may I help you?” asked Abas

 “The king calls for you and your sister, please come this way.” Said the man at the door. Abas and Saya followed the man to the castle.

Reviews

[Katie de Lavani]

Pretty good. You have a couple of grammar and spelling mistakes, but they are fairly small ones and could be easily fixed. I like your imagery. It was a bit confusing when you changed scenes though. Keep writing, it will be interesting to see how this progresses.