Tales from Shinbone Alley

Work in progress. Inspired by a place called Snug Harbor, Staten Island, where old sailors went to retire and spend the winter of their lives.

 

By the Docks of Shinbone Alley-

Squeaking doors slam.

Click-clack the clanking canes.-

Stomping torn leather boot souls.

Scratch and scrape the gravel topped cobblestone.

Old sea dogs rally;

In spoils of young virtuous maidens,

Whom, only crime is innocent splendor.

 

Tormented and stained grey beards, on the hard.

Distressed eyes peer and scheme, leeward-

Telling redundant tall tales;

Of wet dreams, grog and floozies.

 

For silent screams cry,

With footprints upon the grey and misty breeze,

Under pipes, cloak, and cap.

Wobble knees can’t bare the weight

To stand high seas.

No longer cast hunching shadows.

Put to pasture are these. . .

 

Baggy panting - leg;

Slow to foot -

Tack and sway;

Unsteady crutch.

‘Neath these broken knuckles stretch;

Faded tattoos . . .

Gasp and wheeze with every clutch . . .

Raspy throated; barking checkers;

Set Adrift . . . these Castaways

Above board . . .To risk not Davey Jones locker.

Still; no consolation.

 

Flask, spit and splint carry

The limbless cripple.

Who’ll win the woolen jack,

The pocket watch, the pipe tobac?

 

Upon his death . . .

 

Offering to their kinsmen; resound.

One last time to hoist;

One last time to weigh anchor;

Bestowing booty; of hand-me-down.

To the breathing gall;

And rustling clanker;

 

Spent there in the dilly-dally winter of life

Tarry long - my fellows -

Tarry long - dear mates.-

Hauling bags of bones to upper meadows

As fingerprints touch and burn the urge of primal voices

To steer no more . . . .

Where rest awaits.

Author's Note

Feel free to rip it up. I am looking for critiques good, bad or indifferent.

Reviews

[Archia]

I quite enjoyed this, which I wasn't sure if I actually would, but I did. I loved how I could almost imagine the voice of a sailor whilst reading this. It's like I could imagine a sailor sitting there, telling me, it was wonderful. I think it's because of the words used, they are those typical sailor words, or the way they're used they are.
I also enjoyed how there was a story in this, and the last line, it just ended it perfectly, it was an end.

[William Teague]

Thank You Roarke and Paulina. I thought of re-working the piece to a steady rhyme and steady beat, but I seem drawn to off beats and unsteady meter. I'm not sure if this sort of thing is done or if I'm making it unappealing to the ear. I feel like I may be breaking the rules; breaking them badly. I am open to any input. And I did check out David Lewis Paget's work and i'm enjoying it; thank you. Again, I guess I'm a little confused on how to approach this and other weird work of mine, I do want it interesting, but not incomprehensible.

[Paulina M Sabella]

Hi, I enjoyed this one very much, very realistic I imagined being there watching the sailor by Snug Harbor in the misty air. Wonderful! I love all your writing.

[roarke]

I think it's got a lot going for it. As a contrast comparison, look at some of David Lewis Paget's work on here, her writes a lot of sea/mariner themed pieces.

I think the piece really gets going from the third stanza. The use of phrases, no frill, a seaman's dialogue.

I'd say it's pretty yare already.