My Darkness

This is something I decided to write from the heart with out editing.

I'm tired of living this life. I've made no name for myself. I've only made a name for the life of others. I'm a giver with no thought of a return the favor. Can't get a break ever, It's always following what they say to follow. My life likes to fade away because I can't seem to make sense of it all. I always want to find the answer. I need an explanation as to why my life matters. Everyone else seems to act like they don't care but me, I'm just me - trying to define everything else. I refuse to focus on what's right in front of me because I'm always stuck in the clouds; wondering why my parents say their proud, when I'm not even proud of myself. When is my star going to shine? If it's the choices we make, then why can't I motivate? My dreams and my music always make me think, yet I still suffocate. Maybe I'm just not able to see straight. So, I hesitate and wait for it to fall into place, when I know I should take charge and reinstate - take my life back to my safe place and rely on my faith to help keep me straight, instead of burning every ink stain in my brains fire place; like the air that I continue to breath when I can't even see the wind break. When will I believe sub-consciously?