'Richard': Number Eight

I don't know where my feelings for you lie.

It seems strange to say that, doesn't it, after my last note to you.

But then prom happened. And you were so incredibly comfortable with me that it made me wonder. Then I found out why you were so evasive about your prom plans--you were thinking about asking me. Then you made your profile picture one of us two. Then you explained how you would be more comfortable with me at prom, and that's why you asked me--not her. Then you said that you said I was always myself around you. Then you offered to be bus buddies for our senior trip day.

Then I had a dream about you.

I dreamed that we were in a relationship.

And that's when the thoughts started rolling.

That's when I regretted thinking about it.

I don't know whether or not I like you in a romantic way. But in two days I'm allowed to steady date. And I wouldn't mind it being you.

The thing is, though, you're not really that kind of person. And you don't really seem like you'd date me. It makes me wonder.

I love hanging out with you. I love our friendly banter and our casual competition. I'm going to miss you, Richard. I'll miss your teasing, your quirks, your recommendations. Even if we don't date this summer, can we still hang out on a regular basis?

I don't know where my feelings for you lie. But if I knew where yours did, that might change.