Entry Twenty: Events

This entry, I hope, is as true to the events as possible, with little creative liberty taken.

 

The morning began with Amanda getting mad at me for continuing to listen to Simple Plan. No, more…reminded me my voice said I should stop. In a rude way.

 

Eric was as unresponsive as usual, even insisting on turning off the music in the car. I wrote him a note, asking him to answer a few questions, mainly on his feelings. At lunch, pretty much the next time I talked to him, it got worse. Eric told me how Jamie was…worried…or maybe it was something else. Either way, it ended up turning into him attacking and me defending. I received a reply from my note after Civics, saving it to read until gym.

 

“You want to know how I feel. I think you are taking everything too hard. Also, I have reason to believe that you are mad and frustrated that Jamie took me. Do you think it would work between us? It wouldn’t. I want you to take off your mask of hate and evil and open your eyes. I am mad at you. Oh, I am protective of Jamie. You will not hurt her. Go and tell her your problems. She will listen. Now saying that I have tried to talk to you more and stuff, but your head has showed so far in your body that you can’t hear or see yourself. You are a mess. Clean up! You have lots to live for and it is not with me.”

 

I nearly started to cry. Thank goodness I didn’t. I slipped it back into my pocket, concentrating on the real world. We were playing Speedball, a pointless, boring game that I absolutely hate. I assigned myself goalie, not wanting to waste energy running back and forth. Then Nellie decided she would try to score. She’s in softball and can’t seem to tell the difference between the field and the gym. She aimed low, possibly hoping it would ‘magically’ go through my closed legs. The aim was too high, hitting me in the spot most uncomfortable for guys.

 

I heard snickers on the sidelines from the opposite sex as I struggled to make my face elf-like. Then it happened again. And again. And would’ve happened a fourth time had I not moved aside, allowing the ball into the net.

 

The rest of her team hated her for it, and almost all of the girls told me to fight back. Hello? This is Allison you’re talking to. I’m not going to punch someone. Mostly because I’ll get in trouble and I hate getting in trouble.

 

Finally the school day ends and I hurried to my bus to stake out my seat. I hopped off again, a reply to Eric’s note in my hand, as I saw him and Jamie rounding the corner. Holding hands. I immediately put my head down and started tapping my feet against the sidewalk. They finally reached me, but Eric, one hand holding his instrument, the other being held by Jamie, decided that the one held by Jamie is too precious to let go. Especially for something as little as a note from Allison. He grabs it between his lips from my fingers as Jamie laughs.

Reviews

[Vincent Weathers]

It makes me think that Eric and the rest of your friends are lost causes.
I am not sure if this is truly Eric at fault and everyone else, if it had something to do with you, or a little of both. I am not sure how exactly the threads are supposed to be untangled.
Maybe Eric is a jerk. Or maybe Eric is really trying to help you smell the coffee. Maybe you should try to talk to Jamie in private (if you haven't already). Maybe she'll help you smooth out the kinks or something.
From what I have read so far... all I really know is what I just thought there and... you have microscopic self-esteem. If that is harsh, okay. Honesty is always the best policy.
I think you really should befriend your parents some time.... it helps to have someone to lean on.

[Letiel Naynarou]

Very interesting passage. Well written, and now i know how you feel. Why can't you just let go the fact that Eric has Jamie. I know what Eric is like and he sounds like a jerk, and he feels bad about it. That note wasn't supposed to sound bad, although it did. I think that you should tell them how you feel to there faces and maybe they will except you. Have you told the story of what you were doing in all this?

[turtlegirlluver]

Wow, that all sucks. It totally sounds like they aren't good for you to be around, and they aren't there to help you grow and change. New friends are definitely needed right now. I hope things get better, and maybe you could find someone else to talk to and then they could help you out. If not a student, your mom seemed willing to help. Good luck!