Entry Ten: Dance

I had my first dance tonight. I didn’t go with anyone, mostly because there was no one that I’d want to go with that would go to me. I loved it. I helped decorate before hand, and it looked absolutely amazing. My feet are absolutely sore as I’m writing this, and I think I need to kind of take a shower…

 

But that’s beside the point. I really enjoyed the dance during the dance, but afterwards, I didn’t really know how I liked it. Eric and Jamie were together nearly the entire time…and I thought I saw them holding hands by the end.

 

Eric seems so cold and aloof to me. Around everyone else, he loosens up and doesn’t really seem to mind goofing off with them. Around me, I get the impression he doesn’t care much for me.

 

Why do I still care then? Why can’t I just leave and let him go. Let him go his own way and develop his own friendships?

 

Maybe it’s because, deep inside, I really do still like him. I thought I had gotten over this childish infatuation years ago. He has no feelings for me—probably because they’re reserved for Jamie and Mariah—and so I don’t have any hopes.

 

He’s the only one I know well. The one who before, stood beside me for all those years. And now I’m loosing him. Not to Jamie or Mariah, but to himself.

 

Eric is pulling away from me, and it’s time for me to let go. It’s going to be so hard, to just not care anymore, but I think he needs it more than I do.

 

From Within Temptation’s “Frozen”

 

I can feel your sorrow
You won’t forgive me,
but I know you’ll be all right
It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go

Tell me I’m frozen but what can I do?
Can’t tell the reasons I did it for you
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you
You say that I’m frozen but what can I do?

Everything will slip way
Shattered peaces will remain
When memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell its tale
If it all has been in vain

 

 

Reviews

[Letiel Naynarou]

Trying to ignore feelings of love and infatuation is impossible and physically/mentally taxing. Recently I had my own problems with this trying to fight being in love with someone else. My world turned upside down and fell apart and I was unwilling to piece it back together in fear of the resulting picture. I recommend studying Alma 38:12 we are supposed to love

[C.J.]

nice i like how you ended it with a poem that always adds greatness to writing! good job

[turtlegirlluver]

I liked this, and the song fit in perfectly. I wonder what will happen if she decides to completely give up on Eric. It probably would be hard, but I think in the end I think it would help the both of them. Another good write!

"It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go"