'JR': Number Six

There's been a lot that's happened since the last note. You made me dinner for Valentine's Day, we've spent about three days a week together, we realized how much we had missed each other after you were gone a week...

About a month ago, I realized that I wasn't ready to kiss you. That I was going to wait at least a month. But I had to let you know--because if you decided you wanted to kiss me before I was ready...well, it wasn't fair to you. So, after a lot of courage, I talked to you about it. You said you were willing to wait. At the same time, we defined our status as "unofficially official," waiting in limbo until the next month.

Tuesday will mark the end of the month. And so, I had to make a decision.

In the middle of the month, I knew I was going to kiss you at the end. I could see it working out, and I wanted it to work out. You were wonderful, sweet, caring, and funny. You seemed to be great for me, and I knew how badly you wanted it to work out as well.

So I went forward with that decision...but within a week it had changed. I don't know what happened, but I came to realize that we weren't going to work out in the long run. It was heartbreaking. Especially because I knew it would hurt you.

Last night I explained that at the end of the month, I wasn't emotionally ready for a commitment beyond what we were in. I gave you the option--keep kind of dating with no date on when it could go farther, or just stay friends and see if a relationship can develop later.

I'm sure you're upset that I didn't just come out and tell you that we weren't going to work out in the long run. But, I'm trying to break it to you slowly. Because I hate hurting you. I want to be your friend when you have no one else. But I can't be a girlfriend--or a future wife.

I'm sorry.