'JW': Number Four

I asked for fifteen minutes--we hung out for close to ninety.

Twice this week I've needed just moments with someone familiar--someone I knew I'd be happy around--to cheer me up. You've been there.

I'm afraid to trust my roommates, truthfully. I don't have anything small to start trusting them with, and well, we just haven't really known each other well enough to start imparting that strong of feelings. And really, I'm sure I would have fun with them, but it's often a movie that they're watching, and I don't really just want to watch a movie.

So I hang out with you.

Because I know when I do, I will leave feeling happy. I learn how to laugh at myself and my quirks as well as enjoying you and your quirks. Since we've gotten here, you've definitely started talking more--it's not just mostly me--and it's been wonderful. When I brought up the new Doctor Who episode "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship," it turned into a discussion about how dinosaurs actually didn't go extinct, but instead were well enough developed that they built a spaceship before the asteroid hit.

I don't know what the status of our relationship is. People are interpreting it for me--which is becoming problematic again. If I protest, they just say I'm hiding it. But it's hard to not say anything. The truth is, I'm more or less happy with the state of our relationship. I'm not opposed to more physical contact, but it's fine that we're not romantically involved right now. However, every time someone brings up our relationship, there's this part of me that it wishes it was actually what their expectations are.