ode to futility

life is essentially meaningless. I started to celebrate my meaninglessness.

The final bell rang thrice 

A Letter of good bye was written in tears 

I was a letter written to a blind 

A theory without underlying proof

A lost note book with full of ideas

Now the Journey unexpected has begun 

Or the most expected I was sure of 

A lamentation came from Self-prophesied heart

A loud cry for a second chance.

I then reincarnated as a song for a dumb 

And as a prayer of an atheist

As a call not answered and a book not read 

A stained coin in the offering box as well. 

Now no more cry for a third chance 

For uncertainty takes me to the final peace 

And infinity leads me to perfection.

Reviews

[Luna]

Loved this......:) A nice poem with a deep meaning. Those times do come when you think that your life is meaningless (It sucks when that happens) but still there are moments you enjoy things you hope so again we walk on this so called "unexpected journey" and whatever lies ahead we just say "I will deal with it when it comes " That's all we do but it's Nicely done I enjoyed it :)

[KTizzle]

Well, this was nice. I found the first line pulled me right in and the rest of the poem read nicely. I am Christian, so I can't relate fully but I do appreciate the art and thoughts you've placed into your piece.

[Cattleya]

Beautiful very good wow wonderful

[Darren Formosa]

Hi Bibin, hope you are well.

I would humbly give you some suggestions.

I think the lines need to rhyme, if not in words in time. Time to read lines has to be the same. So there can’t be big difference in consonants between one line and another or between one verse and another.

Also the story needs to link from one verse to another if you are treating the same emotion.

Use simpler words. Difficult or big words don’t make the poem better. Its where one places a good word which makes the difference.

You are describing pain, but there reader has to look for it rather that assimilating with it. Go out. Describe it loud and clear.

Here is a quick go at your idea:

A bell just rang for its third time,
as a good bye letter in tears I write.
A heartfelt message to who is blind,
the writing’s lost no note to find.

Hope you take no offence. Note that criticising is much easier than creating. It goes with everything. Reviewing a document is easier that writing it as its just pointing fingers.


Regards

[Avinash]

This poem has its soul intact. Time only can tell most of our questions. Until then we have to hang on and stay strong.

[Surya]

Life starts where unexpected starts happening, loved it.Thank you for sharing.

[Bala Gorthi]

This write is beautiful. It has depth. The whole write is a pleasure to read while the last two verses make me think and take me beyond the words...
Sometimes whatever we do seems meaningless when we look back at things. Understanding this, if only we could forgive and stop fighting then life might turn into a beautiful journey..
A nice craft with a message! Thank you for sharing..

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest and true thoughts my friend.
"And as a prayer of an atheist
As a call not answered and a book not read
A stained coin in the offering box as well.
Now no more cry for a third chance "
The above lines are true for me. I believe we must accept our sins and try to do better. Strong words and thoughts left something for the reader to think about. Thank you Bibin for sharing your excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Farhan Shaikh]

A very good one..and Well written..I liked the line " the lost note book with full of ideas..and the journey unexpected has begun",.