Listen to the words I am not saying

going through a divorce and trying to find love, but will not let go of the past because of the dysfunctional relationship she had with her husband, she was codependent.

Listen to the words I am not saying

The pain I endured when I found out my husband was cheating on me was worse than childbirth, 

because during childbirth, the pain is excruciating for a moment and then it soon passes.

Going through a heartbreak is like going through the labor pains of childbirth everyday, 

there is not set time as to when the pain will stop, only living with the uncertainty that it may never pass.

I find myself thinking about all the things I could have done to end the relationship, 

but I never had the guts to actually leave him, was it love, or was it an obsession?

When he was taken away from my kids and I, I was forced to believe that our love never happened,

although the three kids he gave me serve as a constant reminder of who their father is.

Although I tried so hard to numb the pain with medication, when I would wake up, the pain was still there.

I learned that there is nothing that can take that pain away unless, along comes a gentle heart.

He lifted me when I was falling, and encouraged me when I didn't believe in myself.  

He made me smile when that was the last thing I wanted to do, he also said he would never hurt me.

The last thing I wanted to do was see anyone or even worse talk to anyone.

I became my own worst enemy, always afraid of being around other people.

The damage that I received from loving a man who couldn't love just one woman,

Was enough to tear up my soul and never actually feel like I could love another man, the way I loved him.

The gentle heart came into my house and politely asked if he can help in anyway.

Without asking he washed my dirty dishes, without asking he took out the trash, 

I didn't even have to tell him that I was broken, because he could read my eyes.

I only wanted his friendship and perhaps, letting him love me was the only way I would move on.

It's been a month already and a man that truly loves a woman will not only tell her but his actions, speak a whole conversation to me. 

He doesn't have to ask me if I am feeling down or sad, because my eyes tell it all.

I am speaking to him words of which he so desperately tries to put meaning to them.

For I have learned to stay silent when my body is screaming for someone to save me from the silence and loneliness.  

He listens, intently, to the words I am not saying, and carefully touches my hand.

He knows I have been so hurt and I might pull away as he tries to get closer.

He understands the things that I don't even understand myself. 

As I am trying to put the peices of my puzzle together, he is already putting the last piece where it belongs. 

As suborn as I am, I hold a piece in my hand and say the piece is lost so that he will not complete the puzzle. 

This is my assurance that I am still in control of my self, even though he would never try to control me.

I have seen a man, trying with all that he's got to love a broken woman that can never seem to put the puzzle peieces where they go.  

But this man has shown me that he will go out and find matching pieces of my puzzle so that I can be complete.  And I am waiting for that to happen very soon.