The greatest risk I have ever taken

The greatest risk that you ever took

Is it better to have loved and lost the have never loved at all? Well that question is kind of hard to answer because if I had not found the love that I did I would be something big today not an ex pill popper, and definitely not push people that love me away like I learned to survive with the love I had with  Alex. When we first started going out we fell madly in love with each other, and he was my best friend and we did everything together but it all went to hell when he cheated on me for the first time, I literally never even thought about cheating on him, I would have never risked the love I had for him for a little fun on the side but he did and he made my whole outlook on life change. I would never trust him again, I always feared his abandoning me, I was always wondering if he was cheating on me again and sure enough it happened so many times over the years yet  I chose to let it go instead of just letting him go. A smart person would have let him go, but I was extremely smart but terribly unstable in my head with the thought of his failing me. The biggest risk I took was marrying him after he had already cheated on me. I thought a person could change if they really love someone, but I found out the hard way that he never would change and I was the one getting the pain of his actions. I didn't pursue my career because he didn't trust me, but it was all because of his affairs and his way of thinking that if he was doing it to me then I was probably doing it to him, and it took me a very long time to come to the conclusion that 2 bads do not make a right. I tried to cheat on him and have someone on the side for when he was gone, but it never felt comfortable, I loved him and only him, I only belonged to him but he didn't see that. I risked my whole life to make him happy and ended up hurting myself and my kids. And that is the biggest risk I have ever taken.