Intoxicating velvet

My friend Hannah and I were bored in school 2 work so we wrote a little poem together:) enjoy!

 

Softly flowing through my body

Intoxicating, sweet, sweet blood

Luscious velvet upon my skin

Intoxicating, sweet, sweet blood

 

A man bathed in shadow

The rush of ambrosia across thy tongue

Gently releasing life

Lovley warmth fills my veins

 

Losing my grip on reality

Sudden clutch upon my arm

Striking, beautiful, piercing pain

And there she lies upon the ground.

Reviews

[Scandalous]

Dark. I like it!

~ Scandalous

[MAC]

well written. love the dark twist.

[Reaching for the clouds]

I like the font! I like the way i felt like i had to read it two times since it was deep....i think you should add a picture to it. That might make the imagery even better....

[DearSweetAgony]

Nice imagery!

[Kat24]

hi,
it is really good. Kat24

[Raven Starhawk]

This has a great start. I am lingering still and reading slowly simply because I want to make sure I have taken everything in and processed it to the best of my abilitiy. Regardless though it was well penned.

[LadyKarissa]

Great poem but I noticed some spelling errors in it. You need to use grammar and spell check after you write a poem. I liked it. Lucie

[The XYZ Writer]

That was amazing! You have very good use for vocabulary words, unlike me. :)

[The XYZ Writer]

The imagery was amazing! You sure know how to use vocabulary words. :)

[nevermindfan1991]

This amazing, very vivid. This a great piece of writing. Awesome. Great Job!