The Becoming

_________________

 

THE BECOMING

 

 

Lost in myself, standing in nowhere,

I can not hear the sound of my own heart.

Ripped by the hands of fate I rest here,

Where time constantly tears me apart.

 

Your memories never leave me alone,

And like a strong gush of wind they drive.

Creating a sense of coldness across me,

I’m frozen here; I have no place left to hide.

 

In this world where you are no longer here,

I try to live with your absence, but I can’t.

Nothing completes me now, I feel broken,

I can not feel a beat inside of my dead heart.

 

Sleep seems like an hallucination to me now,

I lie awake when my face hits the morning light.

I still can not sleep on your side of the bed,

That void haunts me at every solitary night.

 

I wake up with your thoughts every morning.

And I sleep with my eyes holding dreams of you.

I’m still here, walking like a ghost from the past.

But you remain in my heart, no matter what I do.

 

There is nothing left except silence in my life,

The kingdom of childhood inside of me is dead.

I feel nothing, I’m numb, and I’m lost inside out,

Your void makes me feel a sense of constant dread.

 

Everyone continued to carry on without you,

Nothing drastically changed in their world.

But my entire world just collapsed at that day,

And after that nothing much has occurred.

 

Sometimes when sadness takes over me,

I just hug your old clothes which smell of you.

Your scent is still there in your old mauve sweater,

That helps me to overcome my nostalgic blues.

 

The wounds have turned into scars now,

But still I see your face in my every reflection.

I know now where my life’s destination is,

But I have lost the sense of every direction.

 

You took away a part- a piece of me with you,

So cleverly, that I myself was not able to see.

Though I can not become back the person I was,

So I finally became someone you never wanted me to be.

Author's Note

I ....wrote this in like 15 minutes I guess, this is my raw heart ripped down on a piece of paper (computer screen, lolz)...I haven't edited it at all, this is just me...and myself and the person I became in the journey which you all (my faithful readers) experienced with me..Feel free to review, please :)

Reviews

[Imperfection]

Very strong emotions. And no matter what I write in the review, I won't be able to express how much this has touched me.

Quite vivid in description as well ---I still can not sleep on your side of the bed,

I cannot really point out which part I like best because all of it is so deep. These pieces are very hard to review rationally because one is not able to think with the head when one comes across something as moving as this.

[poetic soul]

wow bhavya!
can u once not amaze me!!? lol
jokes apart...the picture to begin and end with is simply breath taking...and the words ofcoz...goes without saying, are jus amazing...loved the poem...a lot!

[cfix]

I love this write. This is wonderful, love the feelings expreseed as well

[A. L. Z.]

I like this. It's incredible the pain and confusion a person can cause another.

[Akshat♥]

i give this poem as a contest winner...this poem is amazing...keep the good work..man!!

[Kat-Marie Berti]

Wow, this poem was very heartfelt and filled with emotion. I wonder sometimes what would happen to me if something ever happenned to my husband and you pretty much summed it up in this piece. Wonderful work!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Every word here was like a teardrop welling in your eyes..yes as yourself said it felt exactly like you ripped down your raw heart on a piece of paper.Poignant..

[Brianna Brie]

There is nothing left except silence in my life,
The kingdom of childhood inside of me is dead.
I feel nothing, I’m numb, and I’m lost inside out,
Your void makes me feel a sense of constant dread.

I truly hope that one day soon you will experience healing and know love once again. Loss is such a difficult thing. I often wonder why others seem to bounce back unscathed while I let it drag on and carry the scars. You have expressed yourself clearly in this poem. Personally, I like the title a lot. It implies that you have become a different person since your loss.

[Robert Ulysses Wright]

My dear fellow, this was a remarkable piece. I could feel your emotions with each sentence and though I am not a poet, I thought this is some of the best poetry I have ever read. That is saying alot. To write it in fifteen minutes means you were indeed inspired by heartfelt feelings of loss. I do recommend you edit some of the grammatical errors which are minor so as to make it truly perfect. The title that came to me was more akin to "The Solitude". What do you think? Keep writing and keep dreaming. Take care.

[lavina k.]

I m not able to express my words because it is seriously genuinely the truth of your heart. And i loved it a lot
The way you expressed the emptiness is just remarkable.
Thank you for sharing!!!!!

Everyone continued to carry on without you,
Nothing drastically changed in their world.
But my entire world just collapsed at that day,
And after that nothing much has occurred

I loved this part and it truly shows your emptiness without her in your life.
Thank you!!!!!!!!