The unknown - myself

 

 †The Evanescent screams†

 

 

 

 † The unknown- myself   †

 

 

Staring at the unknown space,

 

Makes it easier for me to remember.

 

The future which we both imagined,

 

Which now turned into a total turmoil.

 

 

 

The illusion soon started to laugh at me,

 

For I can hear his silent giggles.

 

The loneliness-my best friend is still with me,

 

Comforting me in this displaced room.

 

 

 

My heart mourns inside my hollow chest,

 

For the person who used to live inside of me.

 

Because the one living in myself now,

 

Is the one I already I died for.

 

Reviews

[LlamaLord]

"The illusion soon started to laugh at me,"
This very interesting. Your illusion basically mocks you and your dream. I love that part because its touching, personal, and very strong. Perfect example of personification.

What makes this original is that it's the horror of your lost dream that makes you sad. The last lines surprised me.
"Because the one living in myself now,
Is the one I already I died for."
The power caught me off guard I suppose. Wonderful write!

[SoulofManyFaces]

This is very sad. This poem to me said that
a love you thought was true was all a lie, and
therefore it laughed at you.

Very emotional.

[Elanra]

ouch... i guess i wasnt ready to read this set of your poems.. it really does make me cry.

Kavish's sentence:
"I know how hard it is to have lost a broken dream, to stare how the future we've imagine being shattered in front of our eyes and we can even raise a finger to change things."

I too, exactly know how that feels, the idea of "it may never be the way you've always imagined, you may never be the person you've always wanted" i acknowledged that fact a while ago and it was forced through my chest not my choice... and with that knowledge inside my heart, i believe the last part of the child in me died.

anyway this is not about me, its about your work. i guess i couldnt help mentioning stuff it reminded me.. your poems are painful in this book but they are also undeniably beautiful... like a poisonous rose... blood red and more impossibly beautiful...

i also love your image choices btw. it makes your work breath before my eyes. somehow more real (tho i am not sure if its a good thing cus i am crying :P) jk... good work Bhavya..

[.]

I know how hard it is to have lost a broken dream, to stare how the future we've imagine being shattered in front of our eyes and we can even raise a finger to change things.
In the second stanza, we meet this friend encountered before in 'Loneliness coming for me' and by comforting you he proved to be faithful ... but once again, it is ironically sad that the loneliness is accompanying you in your despair and at the same time is the source of your sorrow - as stated in the final stanza ... you're hollow and the one who breathe your soul is not here anymore.
Nice write.

[deeps]

Awesome! If you ever do put a book of poems out I'll be the first one to buy it.
Your writes blow me away. This is amazing, The illision started to laugh at you,
Brillant line there.