22nd may ' 2000

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER- 5

 

22^nd may' 2000

 

Dear Diary

The day which I waited for so long finally came. I promised Natasha to come to her marriage and after many thoughts I finally decided to attend the ceremony (because, after all…I can never ever say "no" to her)

 

I was on time and there at Church I also met some of my old school friends, also I met Natasha's sister Jenny who always used to be very friendly with me. I was there and saw the entire ceremony. As Natasha was walking down the aisle I wondered about my past and about my memories with her. Images of that Valentine's Day came on my mind when both of us danced beautifully and then how life changed both us after we got out of school.

 

That day, I made a mistake of not telling Natasha about my feeling for her…Because if I did, then things would have been entirely different now. There would be no Chad in her life and I would be there in place of him. But, that's not the reality now and I have to accept my life the way it has offered me.

 

As Natasha said "I do", a tear rolled out of my eyes…

 

After the ceremony, she introduced me to Chad and then I found that he wasn't a bad guy and I'm sure that he will take good care of Natasha very well. I won't say that I became extremely sad after the ceremony, since a part of me was also happy for Natasha and I wished to god to give happiness of entire world to her.

 

It's very hard to face a situation like that and to face truth of your life, but sometimes we have to…sometimes, it's better to cry out for your love. It's impractical to always remain happy and to pretend to everyone as if like nothing ever went wrong along your way, sometimes you have to remove that mask from your face.

 

I was finding it hard to constantly smile to her, a part of me wanted to cry in silence. But then, this is what true love is all about. Love doesn't always mean to be happy for someone, it also means to sacrifice yourself and your own happiness for that person, and after that entire sacrifice how you needs to pretend to be happy…this is what love is.

 

I also even once thought of letting her know about my feelings and about my true love towards her. But then, it was too late now, she was already married to someone else and was feeling so secure while holding his hand. I was just unable to break or to steal that moment from her, and certainly I didn't…I turned my back from her and started talking with her sister.

 

After sometime, I thought of leaving the place. When I was leaving…Natasha came to me and thanked me for coming. She was really happy and all of her happiness made me to smile (this time from heart). Then she kissed me on my cheek and asked me to stay in touch. I told her that I surely will and left that place. But, this time I made a false promise to her.

 

I have my flight tomorrow and will soon join my new job; I will change my contact number, my address and will hope to change myself too. Don't get me wrong… it doesn't mean that I want to completely erase my past. No, I have enough memories of her to last along my entire lifetime. But then sometimes, you just have to run away from everything. Sometimes, we just have to walk away from our loved ones to create a distance….walking away is surely the hardest, but the best thing to do sometimes…

 

I don't know what my future holds, but I know that I have somehow managed to live with this suffering. This sadness has now became a part of me and I have no trouble living with it, because the only way to come out of this situation is just to accept it the way it is…

People change, even the person you thought you knew the most, changes. And even though it hurts to see them go; you have to move on, for the memories are all you have, and things might never be the same.

Tomorrow, I will leave this place forever with her memories, because…that's all I have now…

 

Good night!

 

 

Reviews

[Elanra]

I am already dying Blue Rose.... this is just crazy.. I am getting mad at you! why the hell you dont get your work published?? so even in here, Turkey, I can go to a freaking bookshop and buy your book, giving you what you deserve for this much talent!!!

And that book would be mine, I could read it a thousand times if I wanted...

[Blue Rose]

Just in case, if you do not know..I wont mind to remind you that you are one hell of a writer and people would die to write this much good.
It was awesome!

[Innocent]

I'm sad now :

[Karl]

It was sad how she got married to someone else. You have written it well.

[Roxy]

That is a beautiful chapter..but sad too :(

[!!..Love..!!]

The wedding scene has been described beautifully here.
It is just so sad :( and must be so hard for Keith to go through all this.