Twenty-forth of December

 

 

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Twenty-forth of December

 

 

The most painful thing in this world is not when the person whom you love, doesn’t loves you back, it is neither when the person whom you love, loves someone else.

But the most painful thing in this world is when the person whom you love dies helplessly in your arms and right in front of your eyes.

 

 

Two hard years have been passed now but for me, it just seems like yesterday. Every morning after waking up, her memories are the first thought which comes in my mind.  Often I think that her call will come to remind me about some important occasion or date. Sometimes I can even hear her voice calling me, I don’t know why but I can still feel her with me. But no one believes me, some people even say that I’m going out of mind, it just can’t be true, and she is no more here with me. But they don’t know one thing that she is still alive here, inside of me.

 

 

 

Two hard years have been passed now but for me, it just seems like as if time had stood still. I was there in the hospital sitting just near her, touching her hand. Suddenly, she opened her eyes abruptly and held one of her hands tightly to me, and one to her sister. Her sister asked if she was alright or not and she nodded her head innocently, but still she went to call the doctor. Gradually both of her hands held mine tightly and her nails even began to embed in my skin. I asked her “Are you alright?” but she left numb and after a silence of few seconds she said “I’m sorry…” , and then tears started to fall out her eyes. We were continuously looking to each other with endless tears which were flowing out of our eyes and our hearts. There was just something in her eyes at that time which I can’t explain in words, they wanted to say something which words can’t describe. It was the first time in my life when I found myself so helpless.

Finally, the doctor came and checked her, after a minute he said “I’m sorry for your loss…But she is no more…”

 

 

 

 

 

Two hard years have been passed now but, I’m still waiting for a new year to come. I was a party animal and used to party all night long specially on the occasion of New Year. But now, I’m no more that person and I know I can’t be back again. Every holiday I watch people celebrating Christmas and New Year, decorating their homes and buying gifts for each other. Yes, I also do the same but genuinely I no more feel that spirit here inside of me. I exchange gifts and greet everyone just to let them know that I’m perfectly alright without her but they just don’t know one thing that I’m so much broken and hollow from inside. Since some people who have so much of pain and sorrow inside of their hearts, that no Christmas or New Year can bring joy back to them.

 

 

 

Two hard years have been passed now and… I have started to smile once again. The time when she left me, an entire world of sadness crashed over me and that sadness completely changed me. It sucked the real person from right inside of me and made me who I’m today. I first began to hate this sadness but then I realized that I can’t beat it and then I started to live with it. And you know! When you are always surrounded by sadness from everywhere, a time comes when you will began to love that sadness and that is the best way to come out of it. I don’t cry from outside anymore, but inside of me there is such a huge ocean of sadness which can sink even the biggest ship of happiness.

 

Two hard years have been passed now,

And I’m still not making any sense.

The only reason for which I’m still alive is that -

It’s your blood which is flowing inside of my veins.

 

Author's Note

This is one of those pieces, which are so personal that I as such can't put them here...But I just don't know why I have published it here! Lolz.....

May be because now, after 2 years....I'm getting out of it...or may be not, I just don't know!

Reviews

[LlamaLord]

Wow... this is so powerful. Such emotion was grasped in this, it's hard to loosen the grip. The lines I've read before in your other work, but in this, they are all summed into a huge compilation.

"I exchange gifts and greet everyone just to let them know that I'm perfectly alright without her but they just don't know one thing that I'm so much broken and hollow from inside."

That is the sentence that had me at tears. We all know what it's like to simply, feel left out. But what you were feeling, was true sadness. No one knows how many emotions are dwelling, because sometimes we hide them. Losing someone close seemingly, makes your world stop, and makes you realize just how vulnerable you have been all along. Thanks for this. I'm sure this will bring realization to many, and not just me.

Peace to you and merry Christmas!
-Austin

[JENY]

Yes...the words are so close to your heart. Emotions are too raw... and touching
that...it is difficult to call it a story. It is fresh from your heart....which forgot to pass through the craft of story telling. It is very nice. But.....some metaphor would have added beauty to it

[Coyote Poetry]

I understand the loss of a love one. Can change how we walk through life. I don't party or do a lot of celebrating myself. My pleasure are easy now. I have my Grandchild to watch and care for. Four children who need me to stay strong and try to help them. A sad and powerful poem. A reminder to us to be thankful for time with family and friends.
Coyote

[Kevin Andros]

First of all, I admire your bravery to put such a personal piece in here, but it becomes Too difficult to review. But let me start by saying that I totally agree with your statement prior to your story. The story itself, contains and depicts an image so powerfully sad, that even an attempt to speak of it here in a review would be an outright insult to the feeling (or in this case, the soul) of this piece.

But this story kinda shows that you are new into writing story, and something about the whole format of the story says that. Some sentences seemed a bit uncomfortable in their places. (for Example: 'Often I think that her call will come to remind me about some important occasion or date. Sometimes I can even hear her voice calling me, I don't know why but I can still feel her with me.' These sentences are perfectly fine grammatically, but somehow it seems that you haven't done justice to the total beauty of these sentences by putting them in a place like that.)

But I would say again that this is a wonderful piece, I am not even speaking how beautifully this has been said, as I fear that I would somehow insult a soul so powerful that it would burn me down. So, I would just end by saying that thanks a lot for sharing such a personal piece with us, and I again applaud your bravery and I respect your trust on us.


~KA~

[Slender Smile/Husna Tay..]

I am so sorry Bhavya....for all the sadness and pain u had to endure by losing her.....:(
I am sure u still feel her presence.....
Love never dies and it haunts u till ur last breath....
You r such a strong person who has been through all this and yet smile through ur life......
But life makes it easier as time passes.....
Who knows....may be there's someone out there who could complete the hollow space that had once been ur heart?
I pray to God that u find that special someone soon....
That ur smile on ur lips bring the sparkle in ur eyes after all these years.....
Ameen...

[Bamber AKA. AM-HAM]

It was very emotional. I want to review it but it seems as if I can't. I can tell that this poem came from deep inside you and to me that is all that matters. No one has the right to review this poem, it is like a map to your heart, and no one can read it. I'm not sure if that made any sense but I hope it did:). GOOD JOB!!!

[Ruby Moon]

*hugs you softly*
people might have come and gone, but they will still be alive as long as even a single person remembers them...
that they keep the memories and the person dear in his or her heart...

[Vaishali..^_^]

wow..!this is just very awesome..very powerful..!
i feel that pain in each and every line....!
when i finished reading this i had tears in my eyes..and there was sadness in the environment...this is so heartbreaking...i felt that pain in this writing....^_^

[Pratibha]

Hi Bhavya, What had happened to her?
My heart wept for her aching soul and your helpless soul....
THAT moment just froze in history and I know today you are strong because you are able to write about it, face it and accept her loss
Writing about her, makes you strong and makes you know that SHE IS THERE ALWAYS and SHE IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU....
Where can she go when someone loves her so much....!!
Bhavya, know that prayers heal and your are healing her soul and hers are healing yours....

[jessfoundwonder]

Oh wow, I really like this piece. I think it could of been written a bit more smoothly, but it's really powerful and that takes a lot for me to say. The ideas just touched my heart. And I'm really sorry for your loss :/

[Aria Broeka]

Gorgeous! Your ideas are so incredibly wonderful. Your images are beautiful. I do believe you have amazing potential to be a great author, however, I think you should consider investing in some good books on how to write short stories. Your work reads like beautiful narrative poetry or even lyrical essays but not really like stories. Stories have fleshed out characters, storyline, dialogue and, most of all, plot. People do things, other things happen, consequences occure, and new things happen.