Not as we...

 

.....

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

NOT AS WE…

 

Obfuscated but with this new spirit,

I’m starting to walk on this new path of life.

Making an imitation out of it,

For this past is asking for its price.

 

 

Since this time I as I…

Not as we…

 

 

Together yet so broken inside,

A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.

Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,

Every thing is now turning out to be so unworkable.

 

 

But this time I as I…

Not as we…

 

 

Eyes red as blood and wet without any tear,

As I have already lost them to you my dear.

Wondering the reason for this betrayal,

But I’m moving on with this life without any fear.

 

As this time I as I…

Not as we… … …

 

 

Author's Note

Inspired by the song "Not as we" by Alanis Morissette :)

I simply love that song!

Reviews

[Imperfection]

The first time I went through this, I didn't have words to review this. I had to think long and hard before I could piece together, a review to post here.

Together yet so broken inside,
A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.
Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,
Every thing is now turning so unworkable.

- is my favorite stanza. I don't know how you come up with these sentences that hit the heart straightaway.

Like always, the pictures are just so appropriate for your words. They truly 'set the mood' � like another reviewer before me pointed out. Another thing that I loved about the way you've presented this piece is the use of black and red colors in the font. The font by itself, seems so very nostalgic to me�don't know why. And I view, black and red here as representating gloom and pain respectively.

Now I'm afraid of asking you if you think that this is your best piece. For I'm sure, in reply to that you'll come up with something emotionally far more overwhelming than this one.

:-)

[Together]

I'm not a kind of person who love to cry, but this one really brought tears to my eyes.
Extremely beautiful Bhavya.

[Golden]

This is one of the most heartbreking poem I have ever read in my life.

[Blue Rose]

I wont be wrong if I will say that this is one of your best.It is just so captivating and overwhelmingly sad with such a strong and intense feel. Bravo Bhavya!

[Blackbeats]

So beautiful and sad, just a perfect heart broken piece of writing.

[Roxy]

There is just something so irresestible in this poem that I can't stop myself from reading it again and again.
Superb work.

[Amanda]

another beautifully sad write, Bhavya. to admit that though still broken and hurting inside, life goes on and the narrator will go on alone no longer a part of something.

you are a splendid poet of the sad write...nicely done :)

A xox

[Ruby Moon]

@.@
i learned another new word from you friend
^-^
"Obfuscated"
we learn something new every day

[Rain]

I as I...not as we. Beautiful line. It seems to draw the sorrow from your pen. Great piece. Rain..

[LlamaLord]

The last stanza really had me in awe. Your writing flows so beautifully! I love reading it. It really brings passion and sometimes sorrow, into my day. But the feelings of these different emotions is what drives me to a great insanity. Thanks again for a nice read!

Austin