Not as we...

 

.....

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

NOT AS WE…

 

Obfuscated but with this new spirit,

I’m starting to walk on this new path of life.

Making an imitation out of it,

For this past is asking for its price.

 

 

Since this time I as I…

Not as we…

 

 

Together yet so broken inside,

A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.

Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,

Every thing is now turning out to be so unworkable.

 

 

But this time I as I…

Not as we…

 

 

Eyes red as blood and wet without any tear,

As I have already lost them to you my dear.

Wondering the reason for this betrayal,

But I’m moving on with this life without any fear.

 

As this time I as I…

Not as we… … …

 

 

Author's Note

Inspired by the song "Not as we" by Alanis Morissette :)

I simply love that song!

Reviews

[Imperfection]

The first time I went through this, I didn't have words to review this. I had to think long and hard before I could piece together, a review to post here.

Together yet so broken inside,
A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.
Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,
Every thing is now turning so unworkable.

- is my favorite stanza. I don't know how you come up with these sentences that hit the heart straightaway.

Like always, the pictures are just so appropriate for your words. They truly 'set the mood' � like another reviewer before me pointed out. Another thing that I loved about the way you've presented this piece is the use of black and red colors in the font. The font by itself, seems so very nostalgic to me�don't know why. And I view, black and red here as representating gloom and pain respectively.

Now I'm afraid of asking you if you think that this is your best piece. For I'm sure, in reply to that you'll come up with something emotionally far more overwhelming than this one.

:-)

[Bells]

This is beautiful!!!!

[MyDearRobby]

ThIs iS AwEsOmE!vErY nIcE JoB!:)

[Jera]

This is a very interesting piece, i was able to connect and feel what you were saying right away. and i agree thats my favorite stanza also.

[We are young.]

I like how you base the poems off the song, since songs can have such an impact of inspiration. Good job

[LlamaLord]

How do you always perfect the flow of your writing? It sounds so beautiful!! Great work here, love it! :D

-Austin

[Karl]

As this time I as I and not as we

Wow! What a great line, lovely poem

[JadedSparrow]

"Together yet so broken inside,
A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.
Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,
Every thing is now turning out to be so unworkable."

Absolutely amazing...There is a certain elegance to the sadness of the entire piece, but it is especially beautiful to me in these lines here. The flow was flawless and I am really loving the top picture. Bravo!!

JS

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A sad beautifully written poem. Lovely as always from you. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Ghost of Jupiter]

emotion that spills onto the poet's page as intense as life's blood. What a beautifully scribed write! I adored the flow of,
"Since this time I as I�
Not as we�"

Following up with "but/as" was a brilliant twist to the repetition of that gorgeous verse. Wonderful write.

[Innocent]

This is perfect Bhavya. A pure Bhavya copywrite poem having a substance to make anyone cry.
You are a master of writing poems like this and I guess no one can beat you on that. You have that power to express your emotions so effortlessly and creating such a true magic out of your words.
This is also terrific bhavya, from pictures to font. A reader can feel your emotion because I just did.