Not as we...

 

.....

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

NOT AS WE…

 

Obfuscated but with this new spirit,

I’m starting to walk on this new path of life.

Making an imitation out of it,

For this past is asking for its price.

 

 

Since this time I as I…

Not as we…

 

 

Together yet so broken inside,

A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.

Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,

Every thing is now turning out to be so unworkable.

 

 

But this time I as I…

Not as we…

 

 

Eyes red as blood and wet without any tear,

As I have already lost them to you my dear.

Wondering the reason for this betrayal,

But I’m moving on with this life without any fear.

 

As this time I as I…

Not as we… … …

 

 

Author's Note

Inspired by the song "Not as we" by Alanis Morissette :)

I simply love that song!

Reviews

[Imperfection]

The first time I went through this, I didn't have words to review this. I had to think long and hard before I could piece together, a review to post here.

Together yet so broken inside,
A brain consoled but a heart still so inconsolable.
Wounds so deep which are hopeless to hide,
Every thing is now turning so unworkable.

- is my favorite stanza. I don't know how you come up with these sentences that hit the heart straightaway.

Like always, the pictures are just so appropriate for your words. They truly 'set the mood' � like another reviewer before me pointed out. Another thing that I loved about the way you've presented this piece is the use of black and red colors in the font. The font by itself, seems so very nostalgic to me�don't know why. And I view, black and red here as representating gloom and pain respectively.

Now I'm afraid of asking you if you think that this is your best piece. For I'm sure, in reply to that you'll come up with something emotionally far more overwhelming than this one.

:-)

[Beka Perry]

I love this! I seriously wanted to cry! You did amazing. :) I enjoyed reading it.

[Kevin Andros]

Okay! This has been in my RR box for quite sometime now, and today I almost forced myself to review this. And as Imperfection stated above, This is too damn hard to review. Still, I will say that you have improved your skill greatly and done so in a grand manner. The presentation of the Poem (I mean of the paras) could have been done a bit more beautifully. The piece itself has been presented very beautifully, Indeed. Decorating your poems with wonderful fonts and deep pictures is a specialty of yours. All in all, this has wonderfully done and thanks for sharing it with us in here.

~KA~

[An owl on the moon]

Your words move so profoundly, so lyrically... taking us into such a moment of deep reflection and loss... Beautiful in form and flow...

[Brianna Brie]

Liked the last verse the most. You caught me in a painful mood. In some strange way your misery laden words comfort me. Kudos on the write!

[Abby2M]

I haven't heard the song yet. But your poem was a bit sad. I think if sadness is what you want to convey, Then Kudos,Dude

[Ajinkya]

Hi Friend
The poem is so touching. I liked it. I am impressed by your use of words!!
Keep Writing!

[laceyjane23]

This is a great and emotional piece! This is a perfect description of what it feels like to start over. Great job! I love the pictures as well.
Good luck in my contest.
Laceyjane

[We are young.]

Finally you based this off a song following the challenge thank you so much no one has done that yet. This was amazing and gave me chills all the way through it.

[Pratibha]

I loved this one bhavya...it tells a story of modern couples stuck in boredom and aloofness as well....!!
We are there together ??? Is a BIG question....though you may have written it with a different point of view but trust me, it works in marriages as well...two persons under same roof living as strangers.....aware? NO...happy, NO...yet together (!???##)

[Vaishali..^_^]

this is so beautiful and great....!