My immortal

 

 

 

 

 

 

..

 

 

 

MY IMMORTAL….

 

 

Your long lost words silently whispers to me,

A Stolen memory gradually thrills my drenched skin.

You were only my past and that I can clearly see.

But I'm living with a hope, a ray of light which is so dim.

 

When all the time I was hollow inside,

When all the time I thought I was incomplete.

Whenever from this world these tears I hide.

You were always there to make me complete.

 

But where are you ?

Where are you my immortal ?

 

I can't find what keeps me here,

My heart is still unwilling to believe that you're gone.

A year before only we were so close, so near,

So how can I live my life like this being so alone?

 

People say that time erase everything,

It heals every wound and qualifies every ache.

But I'm having such a pain here deep within,

Which time can't cure but can only exacerbate.

 

So where are you ?

Where are you my eternal ?

 

Without you I'm surrounded by sadness from everywhere,

I'm sad not only for this world but sad from here inside.

So desperately I'm searching but I can't find you anywhere,

Since no one can fill the vacuum which you have created in my life.

 

Long lost words slowly whispers to me,

Still can't find what keeps me here.

When all this time I have been so hollow inside,

I know…I just know…you're still there…

 

My immortal…

You're here……

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dani California]

Ah, time does not erase my friend. Time heals, or if not healing, it mercifully allows for less painful breaths. Losing someone is the most difficult thing we endure, and the pain is sometimes unbearable. Though, take rest in the fact that they are right here, on the other side of the invisible wall which separates this world from the next, with their hand on our hearts as we continue on until the time comes to pass through that wall and join them.

This is just beautiful Bhavya --- as is always the case. Your passion and emotions seep from your soul into your ink.

[Brianna Brie]

People say that time erase everything,
It heals every wound and qualifies every ache.
But I'm having such a pain here deep within,
Which time can't cure but can only exacerbate.

Time alone doesn't always work its magic. Sometimes we get stuck in the grief. Hang on though it is too soon to tell a year really isn't all that long. I know it feels like forever when in pain, but it could take just a tad longer. Your strong and you have found an outlet for your feelings. Personally, I love your level of commitment to this woman even in death. The beauty of love is that it lives on...

[Karl]

Your emotions are flowing so effortlessly here. Great work.

[JadedSparrow]

Number 2 on my reading list and as you said my friend, it just keeps getting better. I dont really know what to say other than this. These words you have written are like my own. I cannot really explain what I want to say...I guess Ill go with, you are an amazing poet.

JS

[coldust]

those r sm profound thoughts you've penned down exquisitely...
my dear frnd smtyms the worst in life brings out the best in you, n so is d case here.
keep writing, u gotta a long way 2 go..

[Adela Muresan]

The ending is so sweet, even dough it seems to me like you describe cheating yourself.
Your work is a wonderful description of nostalgia and the images you posted are great.

Unfortunately, I can't put you as a finalist in the ,,Gray,, contest, because this poem clearly relefects that you haven't lost ability to love.
Please, if you want to post anything else in one of my contests, read it's description. Your work is great and all, but it really doesn't belong in this contest.

A.M.

[[untitled]]

This is a beautiful, heartbreaking poem. You write with emotion and passion. Very nice!

[Helena]

Beautiful poem, there is no doubt about that my friend. A big congratulations on winning
the contest with this one. Well deserved!

Bravo!

Helena

[LlamaLord]

I think this is one of my favorite pieces from you. The line...
"Since no one can fill the vacuum which you have created in my life."
Really caught my attention. What a wonderful metaphor. Anyway, this entire poem was extremely well thought through, and very well put into words. I see how losing someone so close, can hurt so much. You really put pain into words when you wrote just about every line to this.

Beautiful poem. Really great job with this.

[lAcEy_LoO's Poems Site]

Aww it was beautiful. Talent... and its hard to move on with your heart face down and drowing in all those tears

[poddar kushal]

A blessing. It is. I am talking about this writing. And I can praise no further...Spicecomments.com - Landscapes Comments