But you still have whole of me...

Acrostic

 

 

 

 

 

But… you still have whole of me…

 

 

Between battlegrounds is where I stand,

Unarmed and without any reason to live,

Thirsty for some rain to hit this burning land…

 

 

You gave me a new light every time,

Of which I'm so much missing is your shine,

Unconsciously here I wait for the end of my life…

 

 

Still maintaining a hope for this life is an art,

This endless pain silently kills me every night.

I wonder how you could survive inside of my heart,

Laceration of my feelings I hopelessly need to abide.

Like a piece of paper you are tearing me apart...

 

 

Hollow is my soul and eyes are so wet,

A heart so much empty for which I regret.

Veins still alive with blood which is so cold,

Every tear inside myself I need to hold...

 

 

Wounds of this life won't heal so soon,

Heartless feel with which I belong.

Overcast somewhere I still see my moon,

Lodestar can't even guide my way home.

Evanescently I surrender life of my own…

 

 

Oscillates your presence still on my mind,

Forever I know you'll stay here by my side.

 

 

Misdeed I committed but I'm so amaze to see,

Endlessly here I'm alive but…you still have whole of me…….

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Amanda]

i know how you feel, my friend....though i was the one that left my relationship, i still feel the same way. sometimes, no matter what happens in life and in any relationship, things happen and sometimes not always for the best. for me, it was for the best, even though i feel at times that if things had been different, i would have stayed. i have no regrets only that it didn't work out the way i wanted it to.

i hope that the pain will subside in time, but it is always the best medicine, time is.

nice, but very sad write.....

Always,

Amanda

[Erin Phoenix]

This is good :)

I felt the sadness as I read.

Very inspiring :D

[WordMaster]

You can write of things past,
That didn't last,
Why make this come to pass

Write of something new,
Not blue,
Your life is worth living,
Of this, I have no doubt

Wonderful poem,
Well written,
The feeling express beautifully

[Sydelle Houston]

I hesitated in reading this because I have been through this before. I realized that the heart is only an organ pumping blood, it's the mind that does all the emoting. Soul mates come around once and a while and when separated there is a void. But one should not dwell in the past. Who knows how many soul mates you can touch if you just open your mind, free your soul and reach out....

I enjoyed your poem, it was quite a nice read. I haven't seen the word lodestar in quite some time and it fits perfectly!

[RaindropsRoses93]

When you love someone they are part of you and there is never anyone that can fill that hole when they are gone. I can tell through this poem that you put your emotions out there, as do I , but I get hurt and I hope that doesn't happen to you. This piece of writing is amazing and I love the raw emotion you put into it and how you arranged the stanza's to say something. Keep writing and don't worry love will knock on you door one day and won't let you fall.

[Emily Rose]

Again your emotions carry through and your word choice is interesting. The imagery is good too, although at times it feels like the acrostic style is choosing your words for you instead of the words that would fit better. Very emotional piece.

[Brianna Brie]

Absolutely love the title of this poem not to mention the awesome content. Superb acrostic!

[MandarinOranges]

Like a piece of paper you are tearing me apart...

I love that line. I love the whole of it actually, but that line really sticks out for some reason.

Well done!

[Valorie J. Shearer]

I love Acrostics, and this is one of best I have seen in a long time Bhavya; excellent work on the font too! I know what you mean by fighting within yourself over memories.. that's all they will ever be. This piece reminds me of a song by one of my favorite artists Billie Holiday - "All Of Me"! Great song.. you would appreciate it! Take care~~~

[Nicholas Hallows]

Honestly I don't like acrostics, but when I started reading this I didn't even realise it was one.
It is definitely not a poem that puts structure over substance. I'd go as far as saying it is one of the best acrostics I have read, and definitely amongst my favourites of yours. When I read the first stanza I knew it was going to be good. My only issue is with the elipsis at the end of the stanzas - I'm never a fan of ending sentences this way in poems. I'm sure you had your reason though. The vocabularly and references are enjoyable and the emotion is conveyed very nicely. Excellent!