But you still have whole of me...

Acrostic

 

 

 

 

 

But… you still have whole of me…

 

 

Between battlegrounds is where I stand,

Unarmed and without any reason to live,

Thirsty for some rain to hit this burning land…

 

 

You gave me a new light every time,

Of which I'm so much missing is your shine,

Unconsciously here I wait for the end of my life…

 

 

Still maintaining a hope for this life is an art,

This endless pain silently kills me every night.

I wonder how you could survive inside of my heart,

Laceration of my feelings I hopelessly need to abide.

Like a piece of paper you are tearing me apart...

 

 

Hollow is my soul and eyes are so wet,

A heart so much empty for which I regret.

Veins still alive with blood which is so cold,

Every tear inside myself I need to hold...

 

 

Wounds of this life won't heal so soon,

Heartless feel with which I belong.

Overcast somewhere I still see my moon,

Lodestar can't even guide my way home.

Evanescently I surrender life of my own…

 

 

Oscillates your presence still on my mind,

Forever I know you'll stay here by my side.

 

 

Misdeed I committed but I'm so amaze to see,

Endlessly here I'm alive but…you still have whole of me…….

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Amanda]

i know how you feel, my friend....though i was the one that left my relationship, i still feel the same way. sometimes, no matter what happens in life and in any relationship, things happen and sometimes not always for the best. for me, it was for the best, even though i feel at times that if things had been different, i would have stayed. i have no regrets only that it didn't work out the way i wanted it to.

i hope that the pain will subside in time, but it is always the best medicine, time is.

nice, but very sad write.....

Always,

Amanda

[just is]

Oh! Wow! This really hit a side of me. This is one amazing emotional write of yourself. So sorry you are going through just a rough time like this. This really hit me here, I enevr really could write acrostic writes. So i found this amazing as well as emotional.

[Hanan_Maliah]

feeling your pain with each word brings to mind a knock on my own door...so strange that it can bring such magnificent works about...I wonder with your words as they caress all that I too have so deeply felt...write please...do not stop I am appreciating your words, your feelings, and the tide they bring forth...

[Ladysue]

Oh I understand exactly how you feel. That one person with whom we can't forget. The writing was superb. This line stood out to me as it provoked such a powerful feeling....the whole piece did, but this line in particular...

Laceration of my feelings I hopelessly need to abide.

An incredibly deep piece that filled the page with tremendous emotion. Extremely moving!
Absolutely beautiful and incredibly sad and heartfelt. Wonderful job of expressing!!!

[QuietPoet]

I know this feeling... Full of heartbreak. Really nice and sad write.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is certainly so really a deep piece of writing... truly a great expression of your emotions... I always enjoy acrostic style and this is the best one of them I have read...

Veins still alive with blood which is so cold,
Every tear inside myself I need to hold...

my favorite part.

[~angelalala~]

this is a beautiful write. full of despair & heartbreak. i don't think your writing is confusing at all. there is always that person in our lives that will have 'whole' of us. "Unarmed and without any reason to live," & "Unconsciously here I wait for the end of my life". feeling as if you have no reason to live without them. i can relate to these lines. i think you've expressed yourself well in this, it is beautifully written & full of emotions.

[[untitled]]

Bhavya~

I have to admit that I sat here today with coffee in hand and read every single one of your poems. So I will leave a review on this one. You express an emotional, heartfelt quality in your pieces that really captures the reader. Your choice of photography adds more depth to the atmosphere. I am certainly awed by your writing. You possess a true talent which I most admire. Your pieces all tell a different story even though most share a common thread of sadness. Your memories, experiences, etc. are all woven intricately within each poem/lyric. I see why so many writers here have added them to their libraries. I enjoyed all of them so I will simply bookmark your profile to my browser (if you don't mind). Definitely keep up the good work.

[We are young.]

I will admit at first I was confused with the letter at the begging missing, but then got to the end and it made sense. Nice job. This is very different. I have never seen a poem like this yet.

[Karl]

This is by far the best piece of writing I have read here at writercafe.
Can't say more, I'm going so emotional after reading it.

[Jake Martin]

This is absolutely great material. The emotion is evident, the imagery powerful.
It is a great portrayal of the feeling of losing someone, and you just can't forget them. That's what this poem means to me, anyway. Great read, I love your work.
:D
Just the kind of work i like to read.