But you still have whole of me...

Acrostic

 

 

 

 

 

But… you still have whole of me…

 

 

Between battlegrounds is where I stand,

Unarmed and without any reason to live,

Thirsty for some rain to hit this burning land…

 

 

You gave me a new light every time,

Of which I'm so much missing is your shine,

Unconsciously here I wait for the end of my life…

 

 

Still maintaining a hope for this life is an art,

This endless pain silently kills me every night.

I wonder how you could survive inside of my heart,

Laceration of my feelings I hopelessly need to abide.

Like a piece of paper you are tearing me apart...

 

 

Hollow is my soul and eyes are so wet,

A heart so much empty for which I regret.

Veins still alive with blood which is so cold,

Every tear inside myself I need to hold...

 

 

Wounds of this life won't heal so soon,

Heartless feel with which I belong.

Overcast somewhere I still see my moon,

Lodestar can't even guide my way home.

Evanescently I surrender life of my own…

 

 

Oscillates your presence still on my mind,

Forever I know you'll stay here by my side.

 

 

Misdeed I committed but I'm so amaze to see,

Endlessly here I'm alive but…you still have whole of me…….

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Amanda]

i know how you feel, my friend....though i was the one that left my relationship, i still feel the same way. sometimes, no matter what happens in life and in any relationship, things happen and sometimes not always for the best. for me, it was for the best, even though i feel at times that if things had been different, i would have stayed. i have no regrets only that it didn't work out the way i wanted it to.

i hope that the pain will subside in time, but it is always the best medicine, time is.

nice, but very sad write.....

Always,

Amanda

[RHEA CROSLEY]

As you know my wife past away last year. It has been a hard slow battle in dealing with my grief. However, I see marked progress. I know it will always hurt but I am confident I can keep the pain as a picture on the wall still there but not so close that I am holding it. This is an excellent, excellent write. This one is a keeper. A classic. Well done my friend; very well done.

[An owl on the moon]

Brilliant depth and richness in every line! What an incredibly insightful, vivid piece! Just excellent!!!

[Blue Rose]

You devil! This is so beautiful, the other day you were saying that you are not good with Acrostics but this is so good! Don't worry dude, your heart will heal and that too very soon, trust me.
Very painful and heart wrenching work!

[Roxy]

Oh my god! you are even so good at acrostics! I never knew this thing.

"Misdeed I committed but I'm so amaze to see,

Endlessly here I'm alive but�you still have whole of me��."

I cried a lot after reading this, may be because I feel the same pain! and it re wounded my past ! T-T

[Innocent]

Everything is so perfect here, right from the formatting and the brilliant use of pictured to the feel and the choice of words...very vivid and beautiful metaphors enhancing the standard of the entire poetry so much!
This is the best acrostic I have ever read....I'm speechless!

[Golden]

This is so beautiful dude! very painful, I feel sad for your loss and pain!

[TamiViolet]

Bhavya, another exceptional read. Oh, you are indeed perfect with acrostic as well as your others :-) This woman,whether intentional or unintentional, has caused you a tremendous amount of pain as she creates a battlefield in your mind, tears inside, tears that you must let out. You're lost, unable to find your way back. I concur with your other readers that you must allow yourself to grieve in whatever TIME YOU need for it to be real. I promise you that one day....almost miraculously, you'll awaken and realize that you don't hurt as much anymore. Although she will remain a part of you always, someone else will come along that will fill that overwhelming void and make you smile once again. Right now, learn to love you.

At the price of sounding cliche... Happiness begins with you.... I think so many times we rely on others to bring us gratification when all that we need is within us...deep in our souls...

The depth of your work reveals the true artist as you become one with your readers.... Creative ....word choice, images, metaphors... choice of photos... You have such soul, and for this reason, I will always be attracted to your work.

XXOOXOX

[James K. Blaylock]

This truly is a powerful piece, and so very sad, really. It seems so strange how we can become so haunted by our past, and it happens far too often.

jkb

[Michael X]

To sum life-meaning in your ending sentence-
Standing between battleground-scars
as if caught in center of universe
desiring what keeps heart in tune
capturing melodious rhythm of wanting
a soul song relinquishing to cause-
drawing conclusions based on feelings
gazing in wonder-Defining-revealing muse at hand


"Wounds of this life won't heal so soon,
Heartless feel with which I belong.
Overcastted somewhere I still see my moon,
Lodestar can't even guide my way to home.
Evanescently I surrender life of my own�

[Angelic Darkness]

I believe all of us has someone that still has a hold of us. In some spiritual sense,
they touched our soul deeper than anyone has ever been allowed. For me,
I have come to terms with it, no regrets, just memories of lessons learned,
and along the way, learned some things about myself. This is a wonderful poem,
your release, now go live. Some words are never to be looked back upon.
The word overcastted is misspelled, it should be overcast. The word lodestar I
don't think is a word, perhaps it should have been lonestar. Keep up the
good work. AD