But you still have whole of me...

Acrostic

 

 

 

 

 

But… you still have whole of me…

 

 

Between battlegrounds is where I stand,

Unarmed and without any reason to live,

Thirsty for some rain to hit this burning land…

 

 

You gave me a new light every time,

Of which I'm so much missing is your shine,

Unconsciously here I wait for the end of my life…

 

 

Still maintaining a hope for this life is an art,

This endless pain silently kills me every night.

I wonder how you could survive inside of my heart,

Laceration of my feelings I hopelessly need to abide.

Like a piece of paper you are tearing me apart...

 

 

Hollow is my soul and eyes are so wet,

A heart so much empty for which I regret.

Veins still alive with blood which is so cold,

Every tear inside myself I need to hold...

 

 

Wounds of this life won't heal so soon,

Heartless feel with which I belong.

Overcast somewhere I still see my moon,

Lodestar can't even guide my way home.

Evanescently I surrender life of my own…

 

 

Oscillates your presence still on my mind,

Forever I know you'll stay here by my side.

 

 

Misdeed I committed but I'm so amaze to see,

Endlessly here I'm alive but…you still have whole of me…….

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Amanda]

i know how you feel, my friend....though i was the one that left my relationship, i still feel the same way. sometimes, no matter what happens in life and in any relationship, things happen and sometimes not always for the best. for me, it was for the best, even though i feel at times that if things had been different, i would have stayed. i have no regrets only that it didn't work out the way i wanted it to.

i hope that the pain will subside in time, but it is always the best medicine, time is.

nice, but very sad write.....

Always,

Amanda

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

What beautiful thoughts - you paint a majestical piece here. These are feelings many of us can empathize with - loving and longing for that special someone. Truly well presented. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Carole]

Awe Bhavya, this makes me so sad for you. I just have to believe there is someone even better out there for you though. My father use to tell me when I was bummed out over a guy, "There are lots of fish in the sea."

This is without a doubt one of the BEST Acrostics I have ever had the pleaser of reading. You choice of words is phenomenal and the pictures are "Picture Perfect." You really have a knack for designing the whole piece with just the right pictures a long with your choice of font, not to mention the meat of the whole poem. The wording and imagery is brilliant, my friend. Excellent write, Bhavya!

[Imperfection]

When I read the title, I told myself...that it is heartwrenching by itself.
I wasn't prepared for what was to follow.

Every word, every line is like painful here.
Perhaps this is how the words flow when we don't let the wound heal.

This is one of your best.
A very intense piece of work.

[Just Manoosh]

I couldn't agree more with your piece or following words .....

So very beautiful, so very sad, but truth all the same. Thank you for sharing.

Mx

ps, it never leaves

[Autumn's Child]

This is absolutely breathtaking. I am reading this as this one song is playing on the radio where the guy is singing as if his heart is breaking in front of him, and it is the perfect sound to accompany a poem where you have laid down your soul so humbly and unapologetically. This is pure poetry at its rawest.

[Nassira]

Bhavya ... this is another one of your masterpieces! WOW!!! You can definitely express various feelings with so much depth and emotion it is breathtaking:) You have used the acrostic form with so much eloquence and rhythm. Your poem is sad and as I read, I could feel your pain ... your talent is there for sure! Your choice of words is meticulously picked to move the reader's heart and feel your emotions. BRAVO Bhavya! I always anticipate your poems with excitment :) thank you

Aw very nice.

[Fran Marie]

Laceration of my feelings I hopelessly need to abide.

Like a piece of paper you are tearing me apart...

Deep feelings of emotional pain surface thru~ out this entire piece
it's indeed sad how easy it is to be ripped apart emotionally like
a piece of thin paper,so vunerable to love's hurtful pain~ Tho~sad
this is beautifully penned in the Acrostic form you have chosen~Fran Marie

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I didnt even realize I was reading an acrostic until almost the very end. My only question is "lodestar" (lonestar?) I guess I just never saw or heard that word before. I've been fighting off some memories of my own so I can relate to your situation, the person I recently broke up with and been together for so long still has "whole of me" But we live and learn.


Great Write.

[pal]

Just wonderful that's what i say.

Now I am aware you are very young, so I have a question for you. How come you have so much depth n maturity in your expression! These come from lot of living gone through!!

Keep on writing I like them.