I still remember...YOU..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still remember...you...

 

I still remember the day when we first met,

And after looking at you for the first time,

Even words can't describe for what I felt.

 

 

I still remember the day when I was touched by you,

That moment was really so precious,

And I saw a different feel in your eyes out of the blue.

 

 

I still remember the day when you loved me,

And now you're away from my heart,

But it's only the place where you need to be.

 

 

I still remember the day when we promised to be together till forever,

But we forgot that forever even ends,

And now things can't be back for me…never ever!

 

 

I still remember the day when you left me away,

And how I pretend to be strong,

When you said-"I'm sorry that it turned out this way."

 

 

I still remember your eyes and your tears,

I still remember your way to fight against every fear.

I still remember your laughter and your smile,

I still remember your promise to cross together every single mile.

 

 

I still remember…YOU…

 

 

 

(this is the place where we met both for the first and the last time )

Author's Note

I'm not happy with it's flow :( :(
Any suggestions here? :)

Reviews

[TamiViolet]

I could literally sit and read you all day as I identify so well with everything that you have written. I think the flow is perfect,
Bhavya. I wouldn't change a thing. So creative is the format... bold words...then fading ones...as the relationship ended and
you heard the dreadful... 'I'm sorry that it turned out this way'... I think hearing this hurts perhaps more than the break-up
itself. It's like another gash, and we bleed even more. It's amazing how some can just fall out of love, eh? Personally, I
believe it was her loss, my friend, for as I read you, I see an intelligent, soulful man with such a tender heart. Once again,
you display your flair at selecting just the right photos... This is the third piece of yours that I have read today, and I really
want to hug you right now...

[The Flawed]

I like it,
Its from the heart
Well done

[Karl]

I loved the way you have written it and the flow is just perfect.

[Brianna Brie]

I love the way the words fade out at the end of the sentences which suggests so did the relationship. Your creativity always pleases me. The poem unfolds to tell of the promises of love lost. Nicely done and thanks for entering it into the Missing Him, Missing Her contest.

[Together]

no there is nothing wrong with the flow, Infact everything is just perfect.
from feelings and emotions to pictures and that fading font , it is just WOW!

[Dalaina Renee]

Maybe it sounds funny because of the forever then you added another forever right after it. Just a thought! Hope that helps. It is a very lovley poem.

[Karrar]

man....its perfect....and so much from the soul....as far as the flow is concerned, the way it went through me....i never had time to think about the flow....it was just.....perfect. I've been through a nearly similar situation so i know how it feels....you are a genius buddy :)

[Valorie J. Shearer]

Changing your words would be no different than changing what's in your very heart, and soul Bhavya! You should be very happy with the flow because it's very good! :} :} Take care~~~

[zee]

It's beautiful! Nothing needs to be changed. It came out that way and it's perfect. Such a sweet poem full of tender emotions.

[indianhost]

i think its very heart felt and good way of writing it keep up

[Lily1111]

Such emotion woven through your words. The reader can feel your pain is it so palpable. Makes me want to give you a big hug.
But you are lucky you know. Clearly this person did not appreciate your many gifts and perhaps could not have loved you the way you deserved to be loved. For me, that would be sadder than her leaving. Her absence has now created space in your life for someone who truly loves you to come into your life....and she will. You must trust me about this.