Your visit to my place...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your visit to my place…

 

 

I saw you with a bunch of white roses,

Gates were open and you started coming to me,

You walked and saw all the different crosses.

It was all silence and a real place to be.

 

I saw some thousand tears in your blue eyes,

These deep blue eyes which made me mad,

Now pain gradually started coming in your life.

Even I cried since I never ever kept you so sad.

 

You continued to cry, I asked you the reason.

But you didn't reply, and just cry…

 

 

I asked many questions to you,

But you maintained your silence.

When crying was the only thing to do,

And tears were flowing all over the place.

I discovered that you were still all alone.

 

You were just sitting there and crying,

Wiping tears which were flowing out of your eyes.

Your soul was broken and lost from inside,

Suddenly, even a tear poured out of my eyes…

 

You looked up above the sky,

It was raining without any cloud.

You gathered your broken soul and walked by,

I want you to stay but I never bound…

 

So...After wiping your tears you walked away,

But I want you to be back again.

Since on next month is coming my day,

Hence your days became so mundane.

 

 

 

You walked away and left me alone,

I continued to rest at my place.

I closed my eyes and silently slept,

The place where you cried for hours was my own grave.

 

But I know I'm always there with you in your memories,

Just like that you're here with me with these white roses.

 

And then you walked away…crying…

After visiting my grave…

And thus, this was your visit to my place…

 

Author's Note

This one's written at around 2 a.m ..When I was *trying* to sleep..
So....This one came out of my mind at that mine....

Basically..It is describing the feel and the pain of a girl on visiting her lover's grave..

Reviews

[None]

Your story is the ultimate sad tale. Especially of seeing a loved one cry over you at grave side.
"You walked away and left me alone,
I continued to rest at my place.
I closed my eyes and silently slept,
The place where you cried for hours was my own grave."
Wow, this is extremely haunting and sad. Wonderfully written with such pain.

[Haruki]

How sadly beautiful! So haunting and heartfelt, a wonderful poem indeed! I always enjoy your work. Your talent amazes me!

[ah]

this is AMAZING, what a powerful, extremely great write, thanx for sharing

[heidi..through the look..]

oh wow i didnt see this ending the way it did. Beautifully sad and yet I find as long as we are still able to cry we will be ok. it's when we have nothing left we will be doomed.
Not just a poem but a tale from what may lay beyond love.

[Forest Green]

Wow...what a nice ending. I liked this...thinking at first it was a poem about breaking a main line...;) But it has a great turn. I liked it.

Good work!

Daniel

[Dani California]

Oh I can feel the torment here.... the grief. Wonderfully and brilliantly written! And so heartbreaking.

You've stirred emotion....

Well done.

[Amanda]

this is a very sad story...the spirit of the loved one not knowing that he was gone and was being mourned by the one who loved him. it is nevertheless a very well written story. i enjoyed emmencely.

Always,

Amanda

[Carole]

Bhavya, this indeed evokes feelings of intense sadness. A well done 2:00 a.m. treasure. :-)

[Shammi]

wow. simply superb. no words to explain. keep it up man.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

so sad... so sweet. i liked the imagination you used to write this piece. i'm sure the person at each grave is truly there, aware of us when we visit... and i'm sure it means the world to them
hugs