Your visit to my place...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your visit to my place…

 

 

I saw you with a bunch of white roses,

Gates were open and you started coming to me,

You walked and saw all the different crosses.

It was all silence and a real place to be.

 

I saw some thousand tears in your blue eyes,

These deep blue eyes which made me mad,

Now pain gradually started coming in your life.

Even I cried since I never ever kept you so sad.

 

You continued to cry, I asked you the reason.

But you didn't reply, and just cry…

 

 

I asked many questions to you,

But you maintained your silence.

When crying was the only thing to do,

And tears were flowing all over the place.

I discovered that you were still all alone.

 

You were just sitting there and crying,

Wiping tears which were flowing out of your eyes.

Your soul was broken and lost from inside,

Suddenly, even a tear poured out of my eyes…

 

You looked up above the sky,

It was raining without any cloud.

You gathered your broken soul and walked by,

I want you to stay but I never bound…

 

So...After wiping your tears you walked away,

But I want you to be back again.

Since on next month is coming my day,

Hence your days became so mundane.

 

 

 

You walked away and left me alone,

I continued to rest at my place.

I closed my eyes and silently slept,

The place where you cried for hours was my own grave.

 

But I know I'm always there with you in your memories,

Just like that you're here with me with these white roses.

 

And then you walked away…crying…

After visiting my grave…

And thus, this was your visit to my place…

 

Author's Note

This one's written at around 2 a.m ..When I was *trying* to sleep..
So....This one came out of my mind at that mine....

Basically..It is describing the feel and the pain of a girl on visiting her lover's grave..

Reviews

[None]

Your story is the ultimate sad tale. Especially of seeing a loved one cry over you at grave side.
"You walked away and left me alone,
I continued to rest at my place.
I closed my eyes and silently slept,
The place where you cried for hours was my own grave."
Wow, this is extremely haunting and sad. Wonderfully written with such pain.

[Paladin4life]

Thankyou for entering my contest. This is a very haunting piece. How terrible it would be to be forced to linger at your own grave and watch your loved ones grieve. I also enjoyed the artwork. Their is an underlying beauty and grace to this whole piece. The speaker watches on as their soul mate grieves and cares for them still, longing for their visits. Wonderfully original. Great work and thanks again for entering! God Bless

[Nish Nish the Fish]

You've brought me to tears with this one...
beautiful! speechless...

[Vaishali..^_^]

it's so touching....!and so beautifully written..!
it touched the very core of my heart...!^_^

[barricade]

have no words ...deeply touched...a haunting thought indeed...instigating a whirlwind of emotions...the pain...the sadness....

[Karl]

What a sad and tragic end, I loved it.

[Together]

The ending is just WOW WOW WOW!
Simply awesome.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is beautiful, even through the darkness and tears...a love shared beyond
eternity, a place lovers can share tears and memories. AD

[Chelsea Schermerhorn]

Very nicely done. The imagery is great. You have made it into the first cut of finalists in my Imagery contest.

[Sarah]

This is really gorgeous, heart-breaking, and inspiring as well. ;-; The twist at the end was sorrowful, and yet the idea that the two are still together in memory provides a bit of hope at the end. (: I really love the line "I saw some thousand tears in your blue eyes" That's very pretty. Great job!

[Amor-de-angel]

This was really wonderful. Amazing what can come to mind at the small hours of the night. great work