I DIED inside tonight..

Life has no rewinds and forwards, It unfolds itself at its own pace. So never miss a chance to live it..or else you may die inside :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I DIED INSIDE TONIGHT..

 

I thought of crying tonight…

But I can't…As…

You may know that weakness inside…

Since tears never came from these eyes…

 

I thought of smiling tonight…

But I can't…As…

I'm sick from this fakeness of mine…

With every second my heart's dying…

 

I thought of breathing tonight…

But I can't…As…

I'm surrounded with this unreal air….

Relief is something which I can't find…

 

I thought of loving someone else tonight…

But I can't…As…

My heart is still not with me…

And I know where it can be…

 

I thought of living my life tonight…

But I can't…As…

My soul is still living for you…

Which yours never cared to do…

 

I can't cry…

I can't smile…

I can't breathe…

I can't love…

I can't even Live…

So…I silently closed these eyes…

And…Yes…Finally….

 

I died inside tonight...

I died inside tonight....

 

 

 

Author's Note

aaaahmmmm!!! Just a collection of few random thoughts! :)

Reviews

[!!..Love..!!]

I found the piece very Deep and real describing your futile search for some love, life, smile and tears but unfortunately when you found yourself so alone you better decided to die, as it better to die than to live a disgusting life like this! I also found that the piece is somehow full of rage and anger. But the literal and lyrical flow of the piece is really tremendous and thus making it such a powerful write. Beautiful indeed!

!!!...Love...!!!

[swarnita]

wonderful piece..
very toucing..n indeed it touched my soul..
tremendously tremendous..
keep writing..
swarn

[Lia]

Beautifully penned. I loved this piece. Thanks xx

[Ruby Moon]

i think the last sentence shouldnt have been repeated...
it takes away the impact and i would have change the "!" to "."
"I died inside tonight[...]"
the "!!!" makes me think of it as a proclaimation...the person shouting it out loud
the "..." makes me think of someone letting go, dying...fading
but that is just my point of view

besides that, your piece is without fault as usual
even those i pointed out are just suggestions to improve and not faults
everyone has their own prefences
thank you for sharing
^-^

[kree8ivity]

Avoid excessive ellipses.
For a topic of love and romance, this was quite morbid. I don't know whether that's worth criticizing--my views on love and romance are so different that I might as well be silent.
I believe you will write better than this one day--you will look back and realize this kind of writing as representing an old-you, a younger-you...

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

i love this... i love everything about it - the way you high-lighted the certain words -- its sad but it is written so beautifully
fantastic

[poddar kushal]

we all go through those moments...then they pass. sometimes they leaves a scar. but, at times the pain turns into a pearl. here your poetry is that pearl