I waited in the RAIN!!

This piece describes the endless wait of a person for true love...but unfortunately its something which never ever came..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I WAITED IN THE RAIN…

 

I looked outside from my window pane….

A black cloud was heavily pouring rain….

But there was a promise to maintain…

So I went outside and stood behind that train…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

Many people gone and many came again…

Some laughed and some thought I’m out of my brain…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

I waited…I waited…But…

You never came…

But… you never came…

 

A tear poured out of my eyes…

Thinking about our past lives…

Something penetrated deep inside my soul…

My heart...oh!! My heart beat no more...

My search was futile for you to find…

It’s something which I can’t hide…

I remember that promise to be together till the moment we die…

See...everything is just same here…except you and I…

People say that time has its own way….

So I waited and waited through nights and days…

But...you never came…

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

My heart just thought of cursing you…

But it’s something which I can’t do…

I felt something on my hand…It was a little bird…

And first time in my life…I felt out of my words….

I looked upon that deep blue sky…

And the sound of rain acted as a lullaby…

I then saw a building of huge height…

As if it was hiding all my life’s light…

 

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

 

Tears started flowing down my face….

Since it was dark, so no one glanced…

My body soaked away…

But these tears are finding their new way….

And I thought of giving myself a smile…

But it’s something which I can’t do in this life…

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

And…my heart broke that night…

But…but…you never came…

You never came…

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ok! First of all to be clear this piece is actually a Song lyric...

And the fact that I literally stood there in the rain that day...yeah...This isn't a metaphor...
As� Sometimes we used to do many foolish things just to maintain some promises...
The same thing happened with me that day...When I waited for someone very long and stood there in the rain�But unfortunately my heart broke that night but she never came�
This one's damn close to my heart because it�s a "REAL" one :)

Reviews

[!!..Love..!!]

Oh!! My gosh!! This is such a terrific piece. So sad ..I can see a tear in each and every line of your piece. At least, it brought tears to my eyes. Its is beautifully and uniquely sad and Thats the real strength of your piece. And also lovely repetition of few lines. It just makes the entire piece linger a lot and If its a lyric then I need to admit that it's the most powerful and heart break song I've ever read.
I mean what a emotion and such a beautiful write which can melt any one's eyes.
I don't know ..is it like you stood in the rain at that day or its simply a metaphor...But you've conveyed your feelings very well..


"And...my heart broke that night...
But....but...you never came...
You never came..."

I also felt that every "...." (dots) made it felt like you were so hurt and broken from this endless wait that you couldn't say the sentence out properly
like after crying... broken and hurt..I mean for me this is such a emotional and beautiful poem.

The best I've read in Writer's cafe till date.
and..Its true..

I would kill to have this much of skill of creating such a beautiful piece which can bring tears in anyone's eyes( at least It brought tears to mine)

"This piece describes the endless wait of a person for true love...but unfortunately its something which never ever came."
Very very well description you gave here of your piece.
Lovely indeed..
Awesome and a superb read..
Thanks a lot..thanks a ton for posting it here and for sharing it with all of us..
You just keep writing man!

[poddar kushal]

dear vabya ,
"stood behind that train�" tells a grphic story in itself. flawless, you were till then. it is definitely close to your heart. even reading the lines like
"Many gone and many came again�

That black cloud was still pouring rain�" i felt it is your heart. but now i am going to say when heart rulls supreme there is a problem. and, the problem is :head gets fogged a bit. you are doing great but for a little need of polishing at places. think about the form you are adopting! it (the rhyme) gets slight tedious after some time. edit this good poem. i hope you will come with even better poem. you have the potential.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Well written. Love inspiring, you shared so well the waiting and axiousness and the disappointment time after time. But you continue to wait. Well written thanks for sharing.

[Kevin Andros]

A great pecie you have here my friend! Perhaps I know for what do you long, what you want! The repetation of the lines produces a great effect!

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

This makes the poem very easy to read through! A great pieice and the effect completed by the pictures! Lovely peice! Keep your work up! ~KA~

[Nithin.R.S]

yep......... the stressing ofstanzas really shows its something close to heart..... rain is always a beautiful piece of art..it is so romantic..and its a nice setting for affectionate hearts to meet..but there are times you do some crazy things to maintian some promises...certainly its hard to digest when response from other side isnt warm........or simply betrayal...incidents like this are experiences over which the life is built on.......And�my heart broke that night�

But�but�you never came�

You never came�..u craved so much that day..n u were bitterly disappointed.. its life.. carryon with your expressions..straight out from life..