I waited in the RAIN!!

This piece describes the endless wait of a person for true love...but unfortunately its something which never ever came..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I WAITED IN THE RAIN…

 

I looked outside from my window pane….

A black cloud was heavily pouring rain….

But there was a promise to maintain…

So I went outside and stood behind that train…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

Many people gone and many came again…

Some laughed and some thought I’m out of my brain…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

I waited…I waited…But…

You never came…

But… you never came…

 

A tear poured out of my eyes…

Thinking about our past lives…

Something penetrated deep inside my soul…

My heart...oh!! My heart beat no more...

My search was futile for you to find…

It’s something which I can’t hide…

I remember that promise to be together till the moment we die…

See...everything is just same here…except you and I…

People say that time has its own way….

So I waited and waited through nights and days…

But...you never came…

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

My heart just thought of cursing you…

But it’s something which I can’t do…

I felt something on my hand…It was a little bird…

And first time in my life…I felt out of my words….

I looked upon that deep blue sky…

And the sound of rain acted as a lullaby…

I then saw a building of huge height…

As if it was hiding all my life’s light…

 

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

 

Tears started flowing down my face….

Since it was dark, so no one glanced…

My body soaked away…

But these tears are finding their new way….

And I thought of giving myself a smile…

But it’s something which I can’t do in this life…

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

And…my heart broke that night…

But…but…you never came…

You never came…

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ok! First of all to be clear this piece is actually a Song lyric...

And the fact that I literally stood there in the rain that day...yeah...This isn't a metaphor...
As� Sometimes we used to do many foolish things just to maintain some promises...
The same thing happened with me that day...When I waited for someone very long and stood there in the rain�But unfortunately my heart broke that night but she never came�
This one's damn close to my heart because it�s a "REAL" one :)

Reviews

[!!..Love..!!]

Oh!! My gosh!! This is such a terrific piece. So sad ..I can see a tear in each and every line of your piece. At least, it brought tears to my eyes. Its is beautifully and uniquely sad and Thats the real strength of your piece. And also lovely repetition of few lines. It just makes the entire piece linger a lot and If its a lyric then I need to admit that it's the most powerful and heart break song I've ever read.
I mean what a emotion and such a beautiful write which can melt any one's eyes.
I don't know ..is it like you stood in the rain at that day or its simply a metaphor...But you've conveyed your feelings very well..


"And...my heart broke that night...
But....but...you never came...
You never came..."

I also felt that every "...." (dots) made it felt like you were so hurt and broken from this endless wait that you couldn't say the sentence out properly
like after crying... broken and hurt..I mean for me this is such a emotional and beautiful poem.

The best I've read in Writer's cafe till date.
and..Its true..

I would kill to have this much of skill of creating such a beautiful piece which can bring tears in anyone's eyes( at least It brought tears to mine)

"This piece describes the endless wait of a person for true love...but unfortunately its something which never ever came."
Very very well description you gave here of your piece.
Lovely indeed..
Awesome and a superb read..
Thanks a lot..thanks a ton for posting it here and for sharing it with all of us..
You just keep writing man!

[ah]

i missed something in my first review, in ur first stanza, u said "i afraid" i think u forgot a word... thanx for reposting

[Ruby Moon]

the repeatation makes me think of time pasting...
minutes that feels like hours and hours that feels like days

"That very black cloud was still pouring rain�
But there was a promise to maintain�.
So I stood behind that old train�
People thought I'm out of my brain�
Many gone and many came again�
That black cloud was still pouring rain�
I waited and waited�
But�you never came �
You never came �"

it rhymes and it paints a vivid picture
and it also make me feel like the memories and thought that cycles in the head during the wait
the hope and disappointment followed again by hope and all the other feelings
it also make me think that very time it rained you were out there waiting...

"And�my heart broke that night�
But�but�you never came�
You never came�"
the dots make it feel like you are so hurt that you couldnt say the sentence out properly
like after crying and in a wrack... broken and hurt

[swarnita]

This is exactly what i feel like...
well written indeed !
you always seems to give me a bright smile..
but i can surely see whts behind that smile..
whts behind that smile!

loved dese lines-

That black cloud was still pouring rain�
I waited and waited�
But�you never came �
You never came

keep up the awesome work..
-swar

[Ameashi]

goodness this is beautifully sad. written in such raw emotion the words seep soft pain. it was hard to read as though i was the one waiting... you should be proud of this piece for it's worth every word read. great job =]

[Brianna Brie]

That very black cloud was still pouring rain�
But there was a promise to maintain�.
So I stood behind that old train�
People thought I'm out of my brain�
Many gone and many came again�
That black cloud was still pouring rain�
I waited and waited�
But�you never came �
You never came �

You brought tears to my eyes. That is exactly what it feels like to love someone valentine upon valentine and not have that love returned. Whether it is meant to be a metaphor "standing in the rain" or you literally stood out in the rain that day the feelings are one and the same. Cold, bleak, drenched with pain and unable to will yourself to seek shelter elsewhere. Absolutely awesome write deserving of a meddle. Thanks for entering the Hearts Apart contest. Best of luck.

[The Changing of the gua..]

that was really good. It reminds of a situation that happened to me.
Wow your far more talented than i. Have you registered for one of these contests yet?
You have the words to win.. ~C. Pinson

[ladyhawk4]

I loved this piece so very very much. I loved the repition, and could feel the pain of waiting. Writing is best when it comes from the heart. I could tell it must have been a very real experience for you. good job!!

[scotty]

Dang the more works of yours I read I can just see you getting your self in at lest one book, you write some great and powerful poems man, I would kill to have that great of skill, but I bet it has come with pratice that your so good, or your just great with words.

[munch]

this is a perfect piece explainin all the feelings
of love
of pain
of anger
an of more love

u r a great writter indeed
u hav a great future

[ah]

this is really really good, its saddening and depressing and makes me want to never be in the rain again lol... it portrays emotion very well and i really like it