I waited in the RAIN!!

This piece describes the endless wait of a person for true love...but unfortunately its something which never ever came..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I WAITED IN THE RAIN…

 

I looked outside from my window pane….

A black cloud was heavily pouring rain….

But there was a promise to maintain…

So I went outside and stood behind that train…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

Many people gone and many came again…

Some laughed and some thought I’m out of my brain…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

I waited…I waited…But…

You never came…

But… you never came…

 

A tear poured out of my eyes…

Thinking about our past lives…

Something penetrated deep inside my soul…

My heart...oh!! My heart beat no more...

My search was futile for you to find…

It’s something which I can’t hide…

I remember that promise to be together till the moment we die…

See...everything is just same here…except you and I…

People say that time has its own way….

So I waited and waited through nights and days…

But...you never came…

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

My heart just thought of cursing you…

But it’s something which I can’t do…

I felt something on my hand…It was a little bird…

And first time in my life…I felt out of my words….

I looked upon that deep blue sky…

And the sound of rain acted as a lullaby…

I then saw a building of huge height…

As if it was hiding all my life’s light…

 

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

 

Tears started flowing down my face….

Since it was dark, so no one glanced…

My body soaked away…

But these tears are finding their new way….

And I thought of giving myself a smile…

But it’s something which I can’t do in this life…

 

That very black cloud was still pouring rain…

But there was a promise to maintain….

So I stood behind that old train…

People thought I’m out of my brain…

Many gone and many came again…

That black cloud was still pouring rain…

I waited and waited…

But…you never came …

You never came …

 

And…my heart broke that night…

But…but…you never came…

You never came…

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ok! First of all to be clear this piece is actually a Song lyric...

And the fact that I literally stood there in the rain that day...yeah...This isn't a metaphor...
As� Sometimes we used to do many foolish things just to maintain some promises...
The same thing happened with me that day...When I waited for someone very long and stood there in the rain�But unfortunately my heart broke that night but she never came�
This one's damn close to my heart because it�s a "REAL" one :)

Reviews

[!!..Love..!!]

Oh!! My gosh!! This is such a terrific piece. So sad ..I can see a tear in each and every line of your piece. At least, it brought tears to my eyes. Its is beautifully and uniquely sad and Thats the real strength of your piece. And also lovely repetition of few lines. It just makes the entire piece linger a lot and If its a lyric then I need to admit that it's the most powerful and heart break song I've ever read.
I mean what a emotion and such a beautiful write which can melt any one's eyes.
I don't know ..is it like you stood in the rain at that day or its simply a metaphor...But you've conveyed your feelings very well..


"And...my heart broke that night...
But....but...you never came...
You never came..."

I also felt that every "...." (dots) made it felt like you were so hurt and broken from this endless wait that you couldn't say the sentence out properly
like after crying... broken and hurt..I mean for me this is such a emotional and beautiful poem.

The best I've read in Writer's cafe till date.
and..Its true..

I would kill to have this much of skill of creating such a beautiful piece which can bring tears in anyone's eyes( at least It brought tears to mine)

"This piece describes the endless wait of a person for true love...but unfortunately its something which never ever came."
Very very well description you gave here of your piece.
Lovely indeed..
Awesome and a superb read..
Thanks a lot..thanks a ton for posting it here and for sharing it with all of us..
You just keep writing man!

[lexingtonvlair]

well i like it. origional i thought a couple lines were out of place, but if it's a song they can easily work out. lots of emotion in this one

[~crazy Beautiful~]

"A tear poured out of my eyes�

Thinking about our past lives�

Something penetrated deep inside my soul�

My heart...oh!! My heart beat no more...

My search was futile for you to find�

It's something which I can't hide�

I remember that promise to be together till the moment we die�

See...everything is just same here�except you and I�

People say that time has its own way�.

So I waited and waited through nights and days�

But...you never came�"
bEAUTIFUL
mezmerizing words
love this
thank you for entering my contest

[Just Manoosh]

Metaphorical or actual rain, they still never came.

Such a gut wrenching piece.

How long would I wait? if I were truely honest I would probably still crumble in 10 years time... wherever life had taken me.

Its a shame that such pain creates wonderful art, and these piece is certainly fabulous.

Mx

[Anne Hill]

Wow I actually felt upset after reading this, I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I'm still in that rain, and he will never come. I know its not a metaphor, but still...

[forfila]

I know the feeling,,,,,

I am still waiting in the rain my friend,, and it never gets any easier to stay standing here!!

Still the search for love goes on, we cannot give up on what our hearts search for=)

Nice work man..

[Daisy]

Think this is really good and can see why you have won so many prizes. What great pictures as well. But it made me really sad especially the end that I knew was coming. What you need is to wait in the sunshine as I'm sure she will come then.

[.]

Absolutely remarkable poem!! Brilliant are your words, and i feel so much for the character in this one. Very heartbreaking. One day, she will come :)

Wonderfully Creative!

Mikey

[Bubo]

Very lyrical piece, that awful feeling of waiting and waiting, and the way your heart breaks knowing
that love is not coming........

That black cloud was still pouring rain�

I waited and waited�

But�you never came �

You never came �

The tragic imagary bought on by the reptitiveness drives home the loss..........and although it could be an actual event it also can be metaphoric, perhaps waiting and waiting for a one true love............
Loved the flow and the deep meaning.

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Very nice.I found one typo that you may want to fix since people will be reading it now that it has won.
"Thinking about out past lives "
I think that you meant 'our' past lives.
Good job. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt experience.
Love All, Mejasha