Prolouge

Setting the story

My thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear their words. I tried to pull myself away from the edge but it felt like my whole body had been turned to stone, all I’d needed then was one final push and I would’ve found myself plunging towards death. I could feel the briskly chill wind of the British winter, grazing against my face, my feet were getting cold, ironic right. I mean I’d always the guy who could never finish anything off, the coward, the wimp, the pushover. I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought it was the only way, I couldn’t let her die, her life was more important than mine. I was nobody and she was somebody. It sounds cliché but it was true, I couldn’t express my feelings for her but it possessed every fibre of my being. Was the feeling mutual? No. She barely even knew who I was, she could never pronounce my name correctly but my sick delusional old self thought that was her way of flirting. Yet in reality, she just wasn’t bothered. She was surely going to know who I was now I’d thought.

 

I felt my right pocket to see if the note was still there. I was in my own world at that moment in time, I couldn’t hear the screams, the sound of sirens slowing intensifying in the background. I didn’t hear the sound of the door opening shutting behind me. I didn’t hear his footsteps as he ran towards me. I didn’t hear him scream my name as he approached me. On the other hand, I could feel him put his hands on my shoulder. I could feel my feet lose balance and topple over the edge. I could hear the many gasp and screams as I fell towards the pavement.

 

As soon as I hit the ground, I could see a lady dash towards my body which was slowly drifting to a comatose state. Even though I could feel my body slowly relinquishing my soul all I could think about was her. Was it all worth it I thought? I could faintly hear the woman screaming for help, I attempted to speak but the words just weren’t forming, my breaths were slowing now. I took my final breath.

 

I breathed her name into the air. I etched her name into my soul.  

Author's Note

Any comments welcome, thanks

Reviews

[SweetNutmeg]

I am curious, which is always a good way to leave a reader. I want to know who ran up behind him, whether he realizes his touch is what pushes the jumper over the edge. I want to know what their relationship is. I have to admit, his thoughts about the girl are a bit cliche, but even he knows that. I like the irony of his cold feet.

This is named as chapter one, but I think it might work better as a prologue, as it is so short.

[Wohlfy]

Thanks, I was thinking about changing it to a prologue too

[ferousfinite]

The entire thought is right there in the words. As for organization this piece is a great example of a regurgitation and brainstorm put on to paper. Like a spew. Once the writing of the first draft is read, there after the difficulty begins. Making revisions and maintaining authenticity of the original emphasis becomes a true challenge. To accomplish this you must divide and conquer. Choose, Graph, Outline, Impose, Implement, Edit, Execute, Publish, Review. I do this Every time. It's a skill I picked up from my English professor.

[wordman]

sounds like the making of a great book

[Wohlfy]

thank you :)