Esme's Story

I'm gonna turn Esme into a story! xD

Imagine a girl in a room. She is about five feet tall, has piercing green eyes, flowing black hair. Her pale skin is so radiant it looks as if it might've been embedded with diamonds. The room she is in is white. The walls extend into oblivion and there is no ceiling. She has been trapped in here for weeks, with nothing to eat or drink. She wonders if she will ever get out, and how she has stayed alive. She hears screams, fists pounding on the walls. Frantically, her hand searches for a door. She finds nothing. Stumbling, falling, sinking into unconsiousness.

Author's Note

ignore the grammar plz, what do u think of it

Reviews

[gemma]

OMG its good but i think you need a little more and come more......you know umf something to make it stand out more :)

[Justin Tobey]

I too agree that you should try to extend it. The description is great, but the drama with the pounding and screaming seems kinda off, because we don't know anything else. This could be the beginning of a great story!

[robin]

It's a catchy beginning to a very dramatic, otherworldly kind of story. Very dream like, you've captured that so far.

[Ale Blevins]

wow that would be a very odd dream! but if a story i would deff read!

[Blake Q Hatfield]

There's definately a making of a story here. I agree that you should expand on this. Dreams sometimes can give the greatest ideas to write about. I believe it's when we're most honest and free about thought.

[The Outlaws' Song]

I think you should continue it...i want details...more details.
So...when will we see more of this piece?!:):):)

Nice work!!

I absolutely love how this sounds like: "The walls extend into oblivion and there is no ceiling."