The Night Flower

This my ode to Sylvia Plath.

The tears roll down my cheeks -- to my lips

gracefully falling to my finger tips

the sadness everyone saw

but no one knew

took me far too soon

My children should have saved me

the love in their eyes

I shall not know

I believe it was selfish of me

but I knew no other way to go

O' as the winter leaves

and spring began

I could not bear the flowers

lying to me like some con man

trying to sell me lies I shall not swallow

for I know my true self

and it is hollow

Some say the man slapped me

and beat me down until I was numb

but you will never know the truth

No, not even one little crumb

He destroyed those last entries

and kept them for himself 

placed up high beneath the clouds

on some lonely dusty shelf

As I buried my head deep in the stove

the gas filled my mind

I had to get up and do one last thing

before I left them behind

I made sure they were both sleeping

and left kisses upon their heads

and pitchers of milk and bread by their beds

I hung my head and walked down the hall

where the gas was beginning to spread

I shut the door so tight, locked, no one could get through

Tucking wet towels and cloths under the cracks

so it couldn't get to you

Ach, du. 

Ich liebe dich

Ich vermisse dich

meine Kinder. 

I sang to myself a song

quietly...

I did not want them to wake

the humming eventually turning into drumming

as my heart began to fade. 

Think of me when you grasp your first pen

when you cry those tears of sorrow

at the thought of what could have been. 

I'll miss you my dears but you are safe now

no longer you must fear or sob

my sadness will not be here to weigh you

nor your smile will I rob. 

The lights are getting dimmer now

I think it is time for I to go

just remember I'll be waiting for you

and O' how I loved each of you so. 

I'll be there in the words you write

and all of your perfectly broken rhymes

Each time you think of me I'll...

...be for you

...there

...I'll be

...alright

...you'll be

...O' Nicholas

...Frieda

...liebe

...geschützt

...schlafen

...

...

...

...

O' Mother when you left me

your legacy was never gone

I could always hear your words on record

I played them some days all night long

I don't know what you were feeling

on the day you took your life

I didn't find out until I was 18

the truth felt like a knife

The beauty that surrounded your legacy

followed me everywhere dreadfully

Your attempt to protect us from you

failed incredibly 

My views left askew

truly the world knew more of you 

While you attempted to hide

your soft frowns and quiet cries

I would have taken those somber faces

over no faces at all...

all I ever had was a picture of you

staring off of my wall

You were more than that

you deserved more than that

We needed more than this.

But I digress,

apples don't fall far 

from the tree

and it is here I land

with this rope in hand

wishing to bring you back to me

This world is so cruel, I know

But I still wish to this day 

that you didn't choose to go

O' but Mother, do not despair

I am on my way to you

I'm almost there

One last breath... one last plea

...Ich liebe dich

...in your arms I'll finally be.

Author's Note

I cried while I wrote this. Such beautiful pain... so tragic.

Reviews

[Mother Maggie]

"Ich liebe dich"..."I love you" These three innocent words carry the legacy of sorrow and dispair from mother to daughter and it leaves me wondering, what is it that has caused so much a pain, such an anguish that would lead two generations to that final escape. Love being life...what is it that can strip the power of love and leave it a hollow shell...what is it that leaves a soul in such darkness that it must flee this corporeal plane? Such a tragically sublime poem to raise such questions...

[Jupiter]

Maggie,

You are so beautifully eloquent. Your review is just touching to me. I often wonder the same thing. Some would argue it is hereditary, the depression and predisposition to suicide. But I wonder if that was something Nicholas could just never get over.

I love your thought provoking questions. They definitely made me think and stirred something within me. Thank you.

Jupiter

[Terohime]

Oh wow, this is so beautiful. It is a wonderful write, great job hun. ^_^

[M Sanders]

Man this is an amazing piece. The depth that is in this and that motivates such emotion. I have been very disconnected and this brings something in me to life. Though this is a tragedy, in away them exiting this world to have freedom and be together in peace leads to a strange sense of hope. Once again you share great work. I wish to only put my thought together so well.:)

Always
M

[Peter H]

good piece

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hello Juniper, thank you sharing this tragic, epic tale, so delicately expressed, with grace and subtlety, great writing.

[Aiden]

Stupéfiant Jupiter! I based a few paintings off of Ms. Plath's work. It is hard not to be inspired after reading her. Thank you for giving this to us. It was a great gift.

[Jupiter]

Thank you, Aiden. I'd love to see your paintings some day.

[Vikrantsingh]

Nice :)
Have been reading it couple of time. Just went with the flow and it was way amazing...
Jupiter.. Loved your work :)

[Vikrantsingh]

This was my 2nd comments this poem keep pulling me :)

[Jupiter]

You flatter me!! Thank you. I am hoping to go check out your work now.

[Vikrantsingh]

Sure you must :)

[Sheeba]

Even the tears rolled down from my eyes tru my cheeks

[Jupiter]

While I hate to make others cry, it is truly meaningful to me to know that my work invoked emotion. That is what I write for.

[Vikrantsingh]

Fantastic :)

[Jupiter]

Why, thank you :)

[Vikrantsingh]

;)

[Jessica Gillitzer]

I cried a little, your friend told me to come check this out and I did and i was shook by the deep nature of your piece. I fear I may never write this well, but we all have to keep trying. The part about needing and deserving more it made me cry, I love this so much I have never had the chance to read sylvia plath, or did and didn't take it. Looks like I'll be doing some reading. very beautiful masterpiece.
Jessie

[Jupiter]

Never fear, Jessie. When you find something that really moves you... deep down. Out it will pour. read moreNever fear, Jessie. When you find something that really moves you... deep down. Out it will pour.

Please take a look at some Plath! My two favorites are "Daddy" and "Mad Girls Love Song".

Jupiter

[Jessica Gillitzer]

I am afraid it does pour out sometimes. I will go check out so Plath! For real i will.
< 3

[creativequill]

And what an incredible ode to Sylvia Plath it was. This was haunting, and beautiful, brought tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart. Loved the bits of German that you put in, added a nice depth to your writing.

[Jupiter]

Thank you so much. I have always loved her but I became really inspired that night. I reread "Daddy" (one my favorites and one of the reasons I included the German) and I decided to go reread her story. I had no idea her son ended up committing suicide too. It just struck a chord with me. Glad it did you too.

Jupiter

[creativequill]

absolutely, how could it not, wonderful again :)