The Ruins

This was a short piece I wrote for an English class. It had to be under 3,000 words, so I felt a bit cramped. I have always thought about expanding on it.

Beads of sweat collected near the crown of my brown hair. They slowly made their way down to my eyes, stinging and burning, making my green eyes burn and turn red with irritation. I couldn’t breathe, I was scared to blink. I peeked through the cracks in the concrete of the dilapidated building I as was crouching in. The wolf that was chasing me snarled as it passed by, the saliva dripping from his hungry canines. I waited there for at least another 30 minutes before I felt it safe to move. How would I know if it had really been 30 minutes? Time had no meaning here. 

As I crawled out of the safe space I had made myself I looked up at the sky. It was always dark here but during the day a little bit of light would break through, that was the only think that differentiated it from the black nights. I wrapped my coat tightly around myself as I felt the wind begin to pick up. I might have a few hours before I couldn’t see anything, though again, a ‘few hours’ was a relevant term to me. Normally when I was with my tribe we would have a fire going but I never paid attention long enough to learn how to build one. In retrospect this was a horrible decision, but how would I know that? My Mom always said it was hard to be a teenager in this kind of world. “I know your instincts tell you to rebel but you mustn’t. It is too dangerous here, darling, please listen to our ways, learn them, it is the only way you will ever survive.” My heart felt heavy as I recalled the words in my head, not just because she was right but because I missed her terribly. I sighed heavily and let myself sink against the building I was just hiding in. I wanted to cry but I knew I didn’t have time. If I didn’t get myself out of the open and into shelter soon, I might not make it past morning. Not here in the ruins.

My name is Angel, I am 14 years old. I have long brown hair that drives me crazy, if I can find a rock out here to cut it off, I will, but my Mom loves it, so I guess I won’t. My Dad always tells me my eyes are as green as blades of grass and if he looks at me long enough he can see the wind flowing through the meadows in my eyes. Of course this can only be a picture he paints for me, as no such thing exists now. I guess I am pretty skinny compared to everyone else but my parents try not to talk about that since food is an uneasy topic for any of us. I don’t know a lot about when I was born. My parents aren’t really my parents but they are all I have ever known so I don’t like to say otherwise. They said they heard a baby crying in a building and ran as fast as they could to see if they could save me. Saving a baby, they said, was rare here. Unfortunately, many women who get pregnant are forced to leave their baby once born for many reasons but mostly the crying will attract predators and the tribe gives them the option to abandon the baby or they will abandon them. It is not a far choice, really. I guess my birth Mom did what she felt she had to do to survive. My Mom now tells me most babies will die from hypothermia before a predator ever makes it to them. My tribe is different though. We are not a kill-or-be-killed clan, we like to help others and hope that humanity still exists somewhere. That is why my parents saved me. My Mom said she named me Angel because that is what I was to her, a reason to keep moving. 

The night was fast approaching and I felt like I was getting colder as each moment passed and I knew it would only be getting colder soon, so I better keep moving. I needed to find my tribe. I pulled myself up and looked around the area before me. There was a reason we called this place the ruins. Nothing was left. As I heard from my tribe, about 50 years ago a large meteor hit our planet. Different people claim different things but most guessed it was at least a mile wide and it destroyed most of the United States, which is where we are now. Almost all of the buildings were destroyed here; the impact alone took care of that. It left the ruins of most of the stone buildings though, almost mockingly, showing me a glimpse of the life I would never have. The aftermath left a dark cloud of dust over the earth and into the atmosphere, blocking out any light from the sun or the moon. Soon after, I hear, all of the plants died, then the herbivores and some of the carnivores, though there a still a few vicious ones that make it now picking off our sick, weak, young, and old. It got really cold after that. It is all I have known but I am told that the sun used to shine and you would feel warmth licking your skin, kind of like the fires are night. There used to be rivers that flowed through towns and flowers, bright and full of life. Everything looks the same now, ice and dark. During the day we get a little bit of light, it is still hard to see but we have adjusted. At night, you can see almost nothing and that is usually the scariest time. That is how I got lost. 

It seemed darker that night. I think it was a 2 or 3 days ago, but I can’t know for sure. I woke up from a nightmare scared and cold. The fire was down to just embers but I felt as if I could see far enough out to use the bathroom. I am supposed to wake my parents up but they rarely get to sleep, we had just happen to find a good enclosed cave that allowed us enough protection that we could all sleep instead of someone keeping watch. I wondered off close enough that I could still see but far enough I could have some privacy. While I was kneeled down, waiting to relieve myself, I saw the glowing eyes of the predator in front of me, lit up by the dying fire. I swear his eyes were as red as the embers reflecting them. I jumped up and immediately began to run, straight back for the camp. I don’t know what happened or how I got turned wrong but suddenly I was in almost pitch black darkness. I slipped down the side of the hill we had climbed up and I rolled and rolled until I came to rest at the bottom of the embankment. My ribs hurt, I thought my lip was bleeding but the pain seemed to subside as soon as I remember what I was running from. I felt around until I found a large rock and huddled myself behind it. I don’t know how long I stayed there but I waited until I felt it was safe. I called out for my parents, for members of my tribe for a long time, but no one ever answered back. By the time the sun began to rise and a small amount of light was available, I had no idea where I was. It didn’t look like anything we had pasted before, but everything started to look the same to me these days. It was probably something about that not paying attention that my Mom got onto me about. 

The little bit of sunlight that shown through the dark grey clouds of dust lay a small path out before me. A little ways ahead I could see an old brick building, the structure looked solid though the outside had long been in disrepair. As I made my way up to the structure I could see an old sign hanging down toward the ground. I always found myself interested in the life that used to be before I existed. I ran my hand over the dust caked wood board until I was able to make out “Burkeville Post Office”. I tried to rack my brain about all of the stories I heard but I couldn’t place what a post office was. I suppose it didn’t really matter. Looking around I noticed a door on the front of the building. That was odd. It wasn’t very often you found a building all together, more less a door attached to it. I stood up and walked over to open it, of course it didn’t budge. I placed my hand upon the old brick around the door, it seemed steady enough. With all my might I pulled back and barreled into the door forcing it open and falling to the ground inside in the process. “Remember, Angel, when looking for a place to stay always look and feel the structure. Make sure it is steady. If you must stay there never light a fire inside, it is too dangerous, always block the door, always. You must protect yourself from whatever looms outside.” My Dad’s words bounced around my head. “But won’t you always be with me, Daddy? Why do I need to learn this stuff?” The naivety as I spoke shone through. “I won’t always be here for you, baby. I need to know that you will be okay.” I shut the door behind me and slid down the solid wood frame. Before I could stop myself the tears began rolling down my dirty cheeks. I tried to calm my sobs because I needed to save my energy, keep myself warm. I couldn’t though, no matter how hard I tried. Pulling my knees up to my chest I wrapped my warm, heavy coat around me, the one my Dad had made. At least he was with me a little. I rocked back and forth weeping until I fell asleep. 

The little bit of light penetrating the iced windows woke me up some time later. While not a lot of light ever came through, it was all I had ever known, so the little sunshine that came through always woke me up. Standing up I stretched lightly before tugging forcefully at the door to open it. I stepped outside into the cold, it was a little warmer than it was at night but I still shivered as the icy wind ran across my face. I tried to think about what my tribe would be doing. Would they be looking for me or continue on their journey without me? Along their journey, after everything had happened, there was word that villages still existed somewhere that had electricity, lights, fireplaces, and could even grow some food inside. That was what we were looking for. I’ve often wondered if it was just a fantasy we were chasing to keep us alive, give us hope and a reason to wake up and face the next day. 

Looking both directions I saw nothing but ice, ruins, and grey. I wasn’t quite sure where to go. I figured I keep heading the direction I was going before and try to keep that hope alive that my tribe had so strongly instilled in me. I needed to find a source of water soon or a way to melt some ice or I would soon be in trouble. While I hadn’t eaten for at least a couple of days, I wasn’t hungry either. My stomach had tied up in knots, fear overwhelming any other need I had, other than thirst. The sobbing was a waste of hydration last night, but my parents… I missed my parents. I couldn’t think about that now though, I had to keep moving.

I walked for what seem like eternity. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going but I couldn’t be that far from my tribe, they would surely find me, right? At this point, I wasn’t so sure. As I carried on I heard some movement behind some abandoned ruins up ahead. I smile crept across my face like a wolf stalking its prey, letting itself reap in the reward before it has even come into its grasp. “Mom, Dad?!” I called out. I couldn’t help myself. My feet started moving before I could tell them to begin, before I knew it, I was running. “Hello? Can you hear me?!” my voice beginning to sound desperate. Was I succumbing to the elements, the lack of food and water? 

“Why hello there, pretty little thing,” a raspy voice crept out of the corner, like a snake slithering inside of my ear. “What are you yelling for? You are much too pretty to be screaming and hurting that gorgeous little mouth.” 

I immediately started to take steps back. It wasn’t often we came across other people. Usually rival tribes were friendly, albeit protective. We tried to keep the peace and our space from them, battles and injuries had happened more than once. But this was different, these weren’t tribe men, I could tell. They were dressed in head to toe in fur; they were both dirty, filthy even, their stench offending my senses. One man stood about a foot taller than me, the other even taller than him. Their hair tucked back into their jackets, their face covered in grimy beards. My heart was pounding out of my chest, but my feet were now frozen to the ground. I wanted to scream, but who would hear me? “What do you want?” I managed to squeak out in a shaky voice. 

“We need some things… why don’t you just take us back to your tribe? Surely you aren’t out here all on your own…” the shorted man said with a low growl. 

“I’ve lost my tribe… I’ve been trying to find them. I… I…” I replied as I tried to get my feet to work. Finally, I started taking some steps backwards again.

“Well then, why don’t you just give us everything you have, darling? We’ll take that jacket, any food you have, water; whatever you can give and we’ll just be on our way.” The big one said again. For some reason he made me shift inside my jacket, made me feel uncomfortable in a way I hadn’t experienced before. 

“I don’t have anything!” I finally yelled back, “Just leave me alone!” My feet were finally moving and I took off running as fast as I could. I couldn’t bear to look back. I just ran, the hard earth beneath my feet, the cold air blistering my lips. I felt one with the wind, as if it was pushing me, helping me escape. Just as I felt I was making some ground I caught a different patch of ice and slipped. The ringing in my ears began immediately as my head slammed into the ground. My ankle and elbow were immediately overwhelmed with pain; I felt warmth creep down the sides of my face. Was I bleeding? No, I was crying. I saw the big men approach me just as my vision began to come back into focus. Before I could even say anything, beg for my Mom and Dad, my life, I felt their bare hands bash into my skull. One man flipped me over and pulled my jacket from me as the other kicked me in the ribs repeatedly. The stripped me from head to toe, took everything I had. Maybe they were trying to find something I was hiding; maybe they just wanted to take something else that wasn’t so obvious. I didn’t know.  I didn’t care. I saw the pool of crimson red gathering around my eye sight. It was the most vibrant color I had seen in quite a while. I just stared at it while they continued beating me, allowing the beauty of it spreading across the grey earth to be my final focus. 

Just as I had given up hope I heard the sharp and quick sound of an arrow. Did they have weapons? Did I get hit? The ice had numbed me beyond feeling. Just as I was about to accept my further fate, I saw one of the men hit the ground next to me; arrow protruding from his oversized neck. Again the sound repeated and the larger man fell on top of me, making my bruised body ache even through the cold. My one eye was already swollen shut but I tried my best to focus on what was going on. I couldn’t move though, couldn’t sit up, I had no idea what was about to await me. 

“Do you think it’s her?” I heard a familiar voice speak. 

Who was it? The ringing was so loud. Why couldn’t I see anything? Suddenly, I felt my first moment of relief as I felt the large corpse pulled off me, all the while again feeling the bitter cold sweep over my beaten body again. 

“Angel!!” I heard a cry. It was the huntsmen from my tribe. I had been found. 

I tried to speak to them, cry, anything, but I couldn’t move. “Mom…” I barely muttered out, the pain too much to be able to move my mouth. 

“We’re taking you to your Mom, Angel, just hold on for us, okay? Stay with us.”

I felt the warmth of my jacket and a blanket wrap around my limp body. Before I passed out I think I managed a smile as I whispered, “I’m going home.”

Author's Note

The idea for this story was somewhat inspired by the book series “The Hunger Games”. I have a tendency to write all of my stories in a third person view and I really wanted to challenge myself and write a first person point of view. That is why the Hunger Games inspired me, it is basically told through the main character’s point of view.

I chose this story to write versus other because it is out of my comfort zone. Besides the first person view, I always write current, real time dramas or tragedies. I have never tried to write a sci-fi or fantasy type piece before.

I had trouble with where I wanted to end the story. I was running out of space and I kept flip flopping back and forth. Would she find a village? Would she find her parents? Would they be dead? Would she die? In the end, I kind of left it up to the reader to decide. Almost leaving them hanging in a sense. I believe Angel, the main character works well, she is a strong character, but I also believe I might have rushed through too quickly to keep within the 3,000 word limit. I feel like there could have been a longer time she was out and alone and a bit more drama or tragedy she could have encountered.

Reviews

[Siliousneo]

well i love how this is written and hope to see more from you in the future

[Jupiter]

Thank you! I'd love to branch out into my writing at some point, but it takes a lot of time. I am hoping I can dedicate more time to writing short stories. Thank you for taking the time to read it, I know it was long.

[Siliousneo]

there is nothing that is ever to long, i am a person who loves reading =)

[OBWhiteHawk]

Great story, I love the idea you have here of how the tribe operates and also the ending is a good idea, choosing to leave it up to reader to interpret.

[Jupiter]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. This English assignment really made me reach out into unknown territory, writing stories. I think I want to try my hand at it again. It just takes a lot of invested time. Maybe over the summer when school isn't so hectic.
Thank you again, White Hawk, as always. You are sweet