losing petals

that beating bleeding mess
thumps
and skips
a beat

maddening cadence
interminable tick

tick
tick

like a watch
losing time

or a flower
losing petals

but I do not wear a watch
and I refuse to lose my petals

Reviews

[paul]

i love the rhythm of the first stanza.
the metaphors of the fourth and fifth.
and the ending

[Matthew Kult]

few words with such large possibilities. Like a ticking time bomb....a constant reminder to chase, grab, have what we desire. Makes me feel like I must have something, and I am so scared that it won't ever come but I must keep my head above water....or else I drown.

Great Write.

Regards,

Matthew

[K. Edward Warmoth]

short, delicate but the last line is so weighty compared to the rest of the piece, which makes it all the better.

[FJ Davis]

Opens with somewhat repulsive, though starkly accurate, imagery.
Often dipped in humor and dripped out with a peculiar flair, Elizabeth continues to shove her paintbrush up Reality's nose.
I enjoy your irreverece immensely, Elizabeth. Would suggest, however, that you hold tightly to your petals. Reality has a notoriously thin sense of humor.

[Derek S.Keck]

I love the resistance in this poem, and the refusal to accept the state of the moment, refusing to be caught up and left in time. Brilliant write, with profound imagry, as always!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Stand up and be seen, great poem my friend.

[paul]

love the title.
the first two stanzas: such description of the heartbeat: something so essential and so easily forgotten.
such description throughout this poem
and such strength in the end

[paul]

i like the sad matter of this poem, like someone aware
of the weight of the world
and the ending of this poem, like someone who
can bare such a weight, or at least is willing
to try

[Jim Parson]

Well, aren't you just the rebel! Great write, very clever and inventive! I'll bet you never have to sing old Bee Gee tunes your whole life! I really like this one a lot.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I love it... such a rebellious attitude... not gonna conform to society and lose your true identity... rage on young lady.