If I were a lunatic

if I were a lunatic
the world would be orange
or purple
or inside out

down would be left
and squares would smell like tangerines

if I were Alice, I would smash the looking glass
and hide my meds under my tongue
until lights out

but I am not a lunatic
and the world is not orange
or purple
or inside out

and squares have never smelled like tangerines

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Deep and profound piece of art, good work...

[Relic]

Like a dreamer (no pun intended) you describe things as though you had been thinking about them a long time, then decided they were just something that ultimately meant nothing. So back to reality. That's my take anyway. :)

[terry smith]

I like the way your mind works!!

[Leslie Philibert]

a very strong poem this,an astounding, unusual poem that I will look at again..

[blackbelief]

Simple and direct = message conveyed.
Thanks for sharing.
Loved reading it.

[avant security guard]

very well written----I like your profile about the need to write that way---consider that capital letters exist---and punctuation---as long as you are not texting---some writers write like they are texting---this site has mechanical problems with quotes, for example, so, I understand there are things that don't work out---notice all the dashes I use---a lazy way of forgetting about punctuation---I'm just saying, for me--the lack of capital letters or punctuation sticks out----

[Elizabeth]

Yes. It was a choice. In my short stories and such, I am faithful to traditional grammar rules. In a poem, especially about mental illness, I wish to convey disorder. Thank you for taking the time to review my work.

[Emily B]

i'm with you on capitals and punctuation . . . know the rules and break them accordingly.

[Elizabeth]

Exactly.

[avant security guard]

if that's your style--fine--it's the words that are important--sometimes punctuation gets in the way--I get messed up over those rules, commas, etc.

[Emily B]

the way she has the words set out on lines, orchestrates the flow of rhythm and cadence, punctuation would probably just get in the way in a work like this one.

Both styles have their perfect time and place.

[Elizabeth]

Agreed. Thanks, Emily xo

[Richard]

you're my new best friend and I think we should write a story..

[Elizabeth]

Maybe, little one. Maybe.

[Richard]

yes ... I mean ...would you be interested?

[Elizabeth]

Depends on my mood. PM me- let me know what you're thinking about.

[Richard]

ok I will :)

[.]

a fascinating little-big poem!

[Elizabeth]

thanks :)

[Baby Ricochet]

I love tangerines

[KAOlmsted]

Synesthestia in writing is such a rare treat...I absolutely love that you included it in this piece because it fits so naturally (that is not to say people with synesthestia are lunatics *laugh* quite the contrary) I just mean it brings an image to mind that is not ordinarily brought...shapes have an aroma. Well done, this.

-kimmer

[Elizabeth]

I appreciate it, Kimmer. This may be one of my favorite pieces.

[KAOlmsted]

My pleasure...