i think this is a dark & beautiful piece. "always there will be nothingness, endless nothingness" the feeling of your utter despair & loneliness perfectly captured. the ending is brilliant as hope is a potent drug. as far as the title, its sounds fine to me but i think u could make it a little more intriguing by twisting it around maybe adding hope such as 'hope is the most dangerous drug' or something like that. well written.
The lines "The moon blinks and the stars taunt while dogs bark in the distance. Practicality is tiring and fantasy unsatisfying." are very striking. This is a wonderful evocation of the magnetic turmoil of emotions at work within the soul, catalysts for one another's poles of + and - ... Hope, indeed, is a dangerous drug - one that feeds both poles of the positive and negative at the same time. And they pull against one another perpetually as we consider the highs and lows of possibility and potential outcomes. But sometimes having some hope is better than having none at all.. the only problem is that it comes at a price.
Anyway, very intelligent and human piece of work which I'm sure speaks to many.
Woh, now that was really powerful! I, too, agree that hope is a potent drug, because you can only pray and wish so much, and when things are bad, i mean really bad; it's just very hard to keep that kind of hope alive in the soul. We try our best tho. And hope is, indeed, a pusher just like any drug, but we can only take so many beatings in life before we collapse. I guess we should just hope for the best in life, and hope things will be alright in the future, i guess hehe. Very awesome work!! Very thought-provoking. And i agree with SuicidalTendencys about the title, too: 'Hope: The Most Dangerous Drug.'
Aaahh...for some reason this brought me back to high school and to that song by Alanis Morrisette, "Jagged Little Pill"...LOL...not sure exactly why, and I'm dating myself here, but... Anyway, hope is one of the most dangerous drugs, as it can easily turn to expectation, and that's what sets us up for the biggest fall in my opinion. I can remember many times where I allowed myself to hope and eventually I began believing that what I hoped for would undoubtedly come to pass, and when it wasn't so, I felt the cruelest sting of all. Anyway...enough of my commentary...LOL
As for the piece, you have some great imagery and great "free verse" writing...I like the "modern" feel to your verse. One thing that I might do is take out the end of line punctuation...it's tough, as a reader, to endure all of those "periods", as it sort of breaks the flow of the piece just a little bit by causing us to ponder each line sepearately without enjoying the collective. This is something that one of my professors in college actually told me, that punctuation in poetry should be used VERY sparingly...and "when in doubt, leave it out"...LOL...I still remember that to this day. Anyway, just something I noticed, a little extra way to polish your piece up a little bit, but overall, I really enjoyed the read. Nicely done!
Sounds like a bittersweet way to enjoy a smoke while sitting out on the porch under the shroud of the moon's beauty. =) I like the third line the best, and I think it's the most fitting sentiment in the poem. And I think you should leave the title as it is. It sounds fine to me.
I am Alice through the looking glass...I mix my metaphors with barbiturates. I take my mania with a glass of milk and I rarely look before crossing the street. Walk a mile in my mary janes, friend.
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