Daisies and Pinwheels

alone in the madness

on a blanket of yellow
I sit

in my dress
in a field

turning daisies into pinwheels

their little heads spinning
like lunatics
in the breeze

Reviews

[Clockwork]

Daisies are such lovely flowers! I like the idea of turning them into pinwheels like you describe here. The last stanza has a way of striking that deep cord that good poetry seems to always play. It has transported me to a field of flowers in my own remembrances. I'm reminded of William Carlos Williams here.

[Elizabeth]

Thank you for the compliment :)

[Clockwork]

You're welcome :-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

crazy in the breeze...we are lunatics in a sense...and that field is so peaceful...alone in the madness...a shared madness for sure...

we are a field of writers...trying to make sense...

this is my kind of write...i like the shortness of it..and the openness...the abstract quality.

i think of the Beatles' song "mother nature's son"

"swaying daisies sing a lazy song for everyone"

[Alone In A Crowd]

Lovely, great descriptions

[Melissa Hoover]

loving this poem!

[Angi]

I am so happy I could place this piece in my contest today. I felt a connection to it the moment I read your submission. I always believe you can say so much in few words and you have painted an image for me here. The madness swirls all around us and I sit and sit in the midst of it. I love the lunatic daisies spinning. Bravo!

[Emily B]

oooooooh . . . i love this

[Emily B]

i agree, i used to get frustrated because folks commented on my cute and sweet little poems, they didn't recognize deceptive depth, it is much more difficult to boil a thing down to the bare bones, but so worth the efforts

[Elizabeth]

Thank you. I fought with myself over lengthening it.. My work is always less, though. I strive for less. It makes more of an impact, I believe.

[De 'Anthony Subban II]

i love your poem

[Richard]

Wow
it sums up a very beautiful afternoon ... but it could also be a sad afternoon ... it's short and powerful this is so it gives me at least the room to fill in what I feel like filling in, which is (I finally remembered what a pinwheel is) that the madness is things going on around me and it's fine madness .. I don't mind it. And that playing with daisies means I'm probably in a pretty area so I'm feeling nice .... I hope you felt the same despite the lunatics which my imagination is screaming "their fine ... they're crazy and looking for god, but they have every right to do so ... they share the same air"
Anyway, I really enjoyed this and everything you write :)

[Elizabeth]

That's the way of it, though. Isn't it? Madness can be beautiful. Mine happens in the sunshine and the dark ... no difference. Thank you for the compliment.

[Richard]

well yeah exactly :)
I think robyn is a great example of how things should really be uplifting on the surface but maybe dour underneath ... it depends on your perspective I guess ...but this poem you wrote it made me nostalgic for any time I've been alone in a field which ... strangely, wow, even just now I'm thinking of a few different times .. one in particular with my ex in England where I remember the red phone booths and the field where we sat was just beautiful :) and they like corn in their tuna sandwiches over there ... so we had those ... ha

[Elizabeth]

That's why I try to craft a piece with out so much noise... if I only sketch the skeleton then the reader can call up all of their own images. Besides, I know what I meant. Ha!