Please, God, tell me this isn't how it is.

love, calling

"I'm trying to brush this off and out of my system, I say." -me

I was stood up once again

I'm so tired of it all

it's more than a dead tired

this is how I feel.

If you ever really loved me

give me a sign

I'm tired of waiting this long

now is the time

please God, is there someone out there

please tell me that everything will be fine.

I was out one night walking in the darkness

with nothing but a dim flashlight

I felt so lost

walking a path not well known

somehow I made it out

when I finally got back to my car

all the grey clouds that were once over the lake

for some time

they had all diminished

and I was staring at the open sky

all the stars I could see

I had not seen in such a very long time

it just told me that God was with me

and all his wonders of the world

are for me to see and believe and feel

and to know that there is so much more to this world

even though at times I get frustrated and at unease and draught

I'm slowly picking myself up and wanting to start something fresh in life

I never want to go into a downward spiral like so many people that live 

in my community, I am sticking to that

I just wish there were people who were more simple minded like me

and thought about being in the quiet nature and listening to the animals

and not looking at some screen

the cell phones had took over and ruined this world, taking people's lives

but it's like they are aliens when I go into a doctors office or a walmart

there they are sitting there with their eyes glued to them

I'm stopped at a red light on the interstate

while the one beside me slaps out her phone in front of her

I really wish all of it would stop

it's what has made me depressed, all these people and those phones

going out on their significant other and this is why I can't have a 

real relationship with anyone, they are on their phone

their phone is everything to them and I am not

they want to text and drive while I am with them

no more am I, if they want to take someone elses life or their own

than I'll let them be alone. 

For this is just one chapter of my life, it has just begun.