Let Me Say I Love You

Jenny and Callum

 I waited for him to come along.
       My eyes darting around the white blanket that covered the once beautiful park. I was searching for him, with his brown hair always covering his face. His favourite black hoody with the skull image at the front. His favourite jeans. His smile, that never left his face.
      I shivered in the snow, rubbing my hands together, my light blue gloves not helping, at all. My black coat reached my knees, not helping to protect me from the bitter cold that hit my legs. My jeans felt damp from the cold.
      It was my fault, I asked him to come out here. Because my parents were forever arguing. He was my bestfriend, was always ther for me when I needed someone. He never failed to make me laugh, to make me smile.
      I tightened my purple scarf around my neck, smiling myself at the thought of him.
My hair fell in my face, my stupid fringe getting in my way. My hat didn't either help, just kept that annoying bit of hair in fron of my eyes. My hat did keep my ears warm though.
      "Wait long?" I turned.
His smiling face showing his perfect white teeth, his eyes the warmest and welcoming. His hair covering his forehead in a left sweep. His hands deep in his black coat pockets, white hat that snuggly protected his ears that had piercings all the way down. His trainers looking damp.
       "Not long, Callum." I smilied, holding my hands up showing him my gloves.  He cursed and smiled, noticing my stray dark brown hair and pushing it to the side.

We walked along the cold hard concrete path.
        I always held his hand, we weren't a couple, but holding his hand made me feel warm, cozy, safe. Our fingers weren't entwined, I didn't like it that way,.
School was not on today, as the roads where blocked.
        So we were free for who knows how long. We found a clean bench and sat.
He got my hand out of my pocket and played with my fingers, even though he had no gloves. He continued to play with my fingers.
         "He hit her today." I whispered quietly.
Callum looked at me shunned. He looked at his hands on his lap, his hair falling effortlessly. I cried quietly. Letting my tears drop to my lap.
          "Wow," He didn't know what to say.
"Yeah," I rumbled, looking up to the frozen ice sky, inhaling deeply and blinking. "I couldn't stand it, Callum. I had to literally run out the house. I'm such a coward." I brung one hand to my face.
          I heard shuffling as he moved infront of me. He took my hand from my face, I saw him crouching infront of me in the snow. His eyes were pleading like. He stared hard at me. "No," He said cold. "Jenny, you are NOT a coward." He meant every word. His voice hitting me like a punch. I couldn't help but admire him.
          I felt a sink in my stomach, my chest felt heavy and I couldn't help but look into those eyes that took my breath away and held me safe and still. I gripped his hand that held mine. He softened his face, rose from the floor, and came close to my face with his. He smelt like spray, I felt his cold button nose hit my cheek, our breaths held, our lips nearly touching, his heat making me dizzy, I closed my eyes.
 
We walked on the winding path to my road.
          Our kiss was long. Our lips the only things moving. I felt as if the whole world stopped, just for us. I warmed at the feel of his fingers glide through my hair, lifting off my hat. I couldn't believe my sheer luck of kissing him today. Maybe the feelings I had towards him weren't mutual. I had feelings for him that I didn't understand. He was not my type. He was classed as Emo. He loved that image. He was comfortable in it. He was a year older than me, he understood me. I never felt closer to anyone in my whole life other than Callum. I didn't know, that he meant the world to me, I couldn't live without him.
          I held his hand in my pocket, where it was safe. I seen the sun high in the sky, painted over by clouds filled with snow, ready to flow.
          Callum stopped us. I seen his head down, I looked around and came infront of him, his personal space. "What's wrong?" I said.
          He looked up, locking our eyes, his expression looked sad and yet questionable.
"Jenny," He sighed, looking at me in complete wonder. "I never knew what it was when you first asked me to hold your hand when you where young. Then I knew what it was. What got you crying at night, what made you cry in my arms. Your troubles which I couldn't take from your burden." He smiled, holding my hand tightly, a light tear edgeing from my eye. He flipped his head to get his hair from his face. "I always wanted to keep you safe, I always wanted to be there for you. I just didn't know in what shape or form. I just knew I had to be there for you somehow. Then, I started to feel something." He looked doubtful, looking to the ground, then to me again.
            " I felt like screaming with joy when I always saw you. I am my happiest around you. My happiest when we talk, when we walk hand in hand even though there was nothing between us. I didn't want to scare you. I wanted to keep you safe, in my arms, I just didn't know how to tell you. But..." He looked at me with something deep in his deep chocolate brown eyes that melted my soul and made me not want to smile but to tighten his grip on my hand.
              "I love you, Jenny." It was a shock to him to say it, then he smiled relief. "Yeah, I love you. I guess I always have."
               I gasped relief too. This news causing me to smile, to make my belly do cartwheels. Make me squeel with happiness. This made my day, I forgot about my troubles that second. I felt like I was in heaven, with just Callum. With the sheet of clouds covering the sun, just the little halo of light pierced through to glow around us. I felt that warmth and felt the light. I was no longer cold. But bright and warm. I was in love, I had never had the most scary, yet brilliant, vibrant feeling. It was a feeling that would paint my dreams new endings, give my world a shimmer of happiness, create a smile on my face and never go away, even when I sleep.
               I knew what to say back to him.
The light above shone brilliantly, I really couldn't see a thing beyond it.
               I love you.
I thought, I opened my mouth to say them 3 words that I could say forever.
               Then a blasting car horn knocked me of balance as I stared at a blazing colour of black and screech of burning wheels and the scream of Callum as he pushed me out the way.



My eyes fluttered open. My chest felt heavy, my throat parched, my head aching. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt ... Alive.
               I tried to move my head, no such luck. I diverted my eyes over the room. I smelt... dank sheet covers. Metal. Soap. The hospital. I moved my eyes to the firgure resting in my bed. Head to the other side sleeping. The lock of brown curls.
               Thats not Callum.
I was disappointed. My father. Of course.
I turned to here a bleep. I was strapped to a machine. I felt wires on me as I moved silently. I seen the sun bleed through the curtains.
               I nugded my fathers head to wake him, before I could. My mother walked through. I seen her tall figure slump as she carried food through. She seen me and gasped and her eyes shone.
She came running, settling the food down, she hugged me, crying.
               "Mam...?" I whispered. I could barely talk, I just croaked.
"Jenny." She sputtered. I never seen my mother cry so much. She buried her face in between my head and shoulder. I just wanted to see Callum. My heart ached to.
               "Mam," I cleared my throat, it didn't work. She took her head away to look me straight in the eye. Her brown hair falling from her ponytail. Her skin looking dry and her eyes black from the fight of sleeping. "Where is he?" I demanded. I was tired and restless.
               I felt as if a huge amount of food was wedged in my throat, I felt sick. I didn't feel right at all. I was queasy. I fidgeted in my bed, uncomfortable. I wanted to see Callum. I wanted to see those peaceful brown eyes that led me to my dearest and knowing home. That made me warm and safe. I wanted to giggle at the way he drew circles in my hand and twiddle with my fingers as we spoke. I wanted that feeling. But, I felt as if I would never have it again.
               "Him?" She thought for a while, her forehead creasing. Then she came to an understanding. "I'm so sorry." She had a sad expression on her face.
               I gasped then gaped. "What?!" I felt my chest rise and forever fall.
I couldn't breathe for a second. Then I managed to sit up. I was scared, I was helpless, I was hurt. My heart felt broken. I cried uncontrolably. I never said I love you.
I cried even more.
               My mother tried to calm me down. She pushed my shoulders down as I became hysetrical. I came from the bed, pulling wires from my body. I looked around nervously. Seeing patients looking at me oddly, some knowing to my pain.
               I seen an old woman looking sadly at me.
I stood facing my mother. "No!" I whispered harshly. I stamped my foot and screamed under my breath. I crouched, grasping my hair, and pulling some out. I screamed quieter again. I wanted to burst!
              I felt like dying myself. I would never see Callum's face again... His beautiful face, his relentless brown eyes. His soft strong hands than encirled mine, that held mine, that caressed mine. The feel of his lips, just the one kiss. It felt like a nightmare, and I was living it! I screamed louder, still silently. I hit my head with my fist. I had never been so broken.
             
The door opened, I straightened up, tears streaming down my face.
I gwaked at whom I saw.
Callum walked through, with crisps in his hands. He dropped them while seeing me. I just had my mouth agape.
I ran at him and his face shocked and happy, I just ran into his open arms. I cried in them. I got a clap from around the room. I just felt Callum's knowing body against mine when we always hugged. I felt his quick breath on my neck as he forcefully kissed it, like I wasn't really there.
              I ran my fingers through his hair, I pulle back and kissed him hard. So hard I might have passed out. I felt eyes on me, I didn't care. I thought I lost something precious to me for a second, a second that felt like a life time of pain in just a minute. I held onto him with so much pressure I couldn't breathe. I sighed with pain and relief.
I turned to my mother.
             She stood beside my father who stood awake with a smile on his face.
"I though you said..." I stammered. She looked at me.
             " I though you meant the driver."
I felt sick. The driver had died in the freak accident that happened.
              "So where were you?" I turned to Callum.
"He never left your side." My father spoke broadly. I looked at him. He smiled at me, then at Callum. "He said a few minutes ago that he wanted to toilet and just went. I took his place and nodded off as soon as I sat down. You have been here for three nights. Cal never moved. Just for the toilet only." He smiled. I turned to Callum. I hugged him again, pressing against him tightly incase I lost him. I did feel something different. He felt skinnier. I just sighed with happiness as I held onto my life.
                "Callum," I whispered.
"Yeah?" I could tell he was smiling.
                 "I love you."

Author's Note

A little thrill and written while I listened to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JLcckaF3F0&feature=related
Beautiful piece of piano :)

Reviews

[Nomatterwhat143]

So detailed, and the love exceeds the thrill of merely just saying "I love you".
Beth, You are indeed the writer's soul. ~ Meeco

[Sweets]

This is great!
I loved it soo soo much!
I almost cried when I thought he died x_x"
Great work!

[Dove]

So emotional, i love it!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Such a rollercoaster of emotions, love how you did that :)

[Jupiter Jazz]

The emotions were raw and the story was bittersweet. Nice write

[WritersSoul]

sorry for the spelling mistakes or missing a few letters of words :P