Already Dark Room

Yes--there is something I remember
about family.

Overhead lights burn out and lightbulbs
are not replaced for months.
The one who lives in this room rallies
her army of little lamps;
four, five of them to create a glow
big enough to justify
the loss of an overhead light.
It's almost indecipherably different, except...

Still, months later--
upon entering the room, the switch is flipped up
upon exiting the room, the switch is flipped down.

Because we can still touch our beating hearts,
we continue to dream of our family's ghosts;
dress our dinner tables for six memories
and pretend it's a celebration;

after dinner,
the obviously empty plates are too painful,
the haunting has vanished--but if you look,
I'm still in the doorway.