Love Is Weird

A Poem by bethanyy123

“You don’t know what love is.”

Well then I have no idea what to call this emotion, no not emotion, this natural disaster, that sweeps over me when you look at me like you need my existence to fuel your own. Like you need me, only me. This all consuming rush that comes over me at the mere thought of you. This reckless abandon that makes me do the most stupid yet wonderful things. I’d never felt this before, it was a high, I was high on life, high on this natural disaster that I was told I didn’t know anything of. I was in love. But the higher you go the harder the fall, and I was higher than I’d ever been, and when I fell I was numb for a while, I couldn’t believe it was over, I didn’t want to accept the fact that the high had passed, that you’d never look at me like you needed me again. But the numbness faded, and I felt it. All of it. I felt like I had been shot, right in the heart, I was broken, and I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but I knew none of this would satisfy me, because the one thing I really wanted in that moment was you, and you were gone, just like that. For months I’d listen to sad songs, and love songs, and think of you, I’d check my phone waiting, for a call, a text, anything, but it never came. Eventually I’d think I was okay, when suddenly our song came on the radio, or someone mentioned your name, a thousand memories would race through my mind, and I might even smile, sometimes I’d cry, sometimes I’d go numb, and sometimes I’d feel like my breathe had left my lungs, and I couldn’t breathe. But life goes on, and on it went, and eventually I didn’t think about you as often as I breathed, and not all the songs were about you, and the smiles were more frequent than the tears, and I could laugh again, even though sometimes it was through tears, and pain. Because I was thankful for the high, even though it hurt to fall, I had never experienced this beautiful disaster called love, and I knew it was real. And I was thankful to you, because you were the one I had the privilege of falling in love with. You were the one that showed me what it was like to be loved, to be wanted, needed, you had fallen in love with me too, you were the first to love me like that, and I would never forget you. I didn’t want to no matter how much it hurt because now I knew, I understood this thing called love, which had only one constant. It was weird.