Glass houses

it centers around the society. please read and give constructive criticism.

Crack! Crash!
Echoes of bashing bricks
In the hands of fanged fanatics
And hissing highs of leering leeches
With withering wonders

Smash! Bash!
Moaning of malignant quizzes
Disdainful demeaning looks
Hidden by soured smiles
Grimacing glares and sober stares

Clap! Snap!
Belittled pride of blasphemous bureaucrats
Masked by the illusion of intellect
And disillusion of domination
A steady stream of stupidity

Shatter! Shatter!
Fated fortune of fragile lies
And jagged edges of juicy words
Collecting the crumbs in others
Whilst clinging to the chunk in yours..

Reviews

[Maria]

Intense, and neat how you were able to portray much with each stanza...Loved it.

[Derek Thiem]

You like to play with sound, as I do. Lots of alliteration. Fun! For a not fun topic. I think the onomatopoeia works as well. I love the sounds in the first stanza, but the image is perhaps a bit over the top? In the last stanza, I like the sound of jagged edges of juicy words, but couldn't picture jagged and juicy together. I guess I would say overall that I like the poem, I think the structure and use of sound play are good, but also keep an eye on what can be visualized, like you started off with, "echoes of bashing bricks".

[OneAmongstMany]

Great use of alliteration to hammer home a powerful message. I particularly enjoyed the last two stanzas. Keep it up!

[soulful sinner]

thank you, I'm glad you liked it. :)