The Wackiest, Sloppiest Ode to Parents Ever.

I wrote this poem in response to this promt: "Every time I'm on the phone to my parents I have to poop." It's a wacky quote from that secret postcard book thing.

Plipping and plopping,

slishing and sloshing,

sitting on the pooper,

and quietly talking.

 

We talk about grades.

we talk about dinner,

all the while I'm flexing my sphincter.

 

I juggle the phone,

to get to the paper,

I try not to gag,

as I choke on the vapor.

 

We say goodbye,

see you at eight!

You're making dinner so don't be late!

 

I sigh with relief

and flush the monster,

wash my hands,

and silently ponder:

 

maybe it's an allergic contraction,

this split second, unwanted, pooping reaction.

It's only when my parents call,

good thing I don't talk to the old ones at all.

 

Author's Note

I admit: This is a tad bit elementary. But hey. It's all about having fun. I hope this made you smile... Or worst case scenario made you visit the pooper yourself. In that case I apologize.