In Memory of my Father

You lose someone once and you think the sun will never rise again. This is more of a poem about despair, fatherlessness coincided with despair. plot twist, sun always rises. but it's night now.

I fought until my cuticles were torn off

I punched the wall but I was the only one who was hurt

After the sun came I looked at the flooded streets

After that rain it didn't worth to see the rainbow

My flowers were torn and broken by the wind

I didn't even try to dry the water that came in

I covered the sound of drops hitting the walls with my screams

I found meaning in the peeling plaster

I called a fortune teller and begged her to sell me hope

Even turning on the lights and drawing the curtains was a movement full of bright

But I can't even stand the gleam anymore

I believed that I will find life in the morgue

So I ran to my father's grave to escape from my home

They told me to clean the dried grass

Forgive me Father; can I do it later?

I'm too tired right now

I can't even pray, I don't know why I'm here

A muddy soil cause of the rain and thorns with roses

My birthday is written on your tombstone

Even the age you would have been if you had lived

Still too young to die

Author's Note

My father died on my birthday and today is his anniversary. I have grown up since the day he died but he will always be at the same age.
23/12

Reviews

[Lorry]

Well that is one tough gig to play snd on your birthday too!
Days will pass by in a haze and one day you'll forget for a moment and laugh or smile again, but then you'll feel awful for it.
I won't say it will get better, but it will get more bearable and it will make it easier to remember the good times too.
My Dad passed very soon after 9/11 and every anniversary of thar reminds me of him and the last conversation we had, where he just shook his head, let out a sigh and said something like "bar steward's" I think.
Summed up perfectly by the man of few words.
One day you'll realise that he wouldn't want to be the cause of your sadness and you will try to smile again.
Hope it's soon.

[Beren Ongur]

I don't think it goes away with time, it doesn't get better, you don't get used to it or it doesn't lose its effect. You just remember it less. But every time you remember it, you relive that loss all over again. I can understand. I'm definitely better now, I'll still miss him bitterly but not that sharper anymore, i learned better how to deal with it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Everything they said and every memory is so precious. I hope you're better too.

I'm grateful for stopping by here to read my poem and share your own story. hope i see you again soon

[Gee]

I'm sorry for your loss. Time heals but never fully, it just buries the pain until it is a constant dull ache.
Avery good friend died on my wife's birthday, these are now spent both celebrating and remembering.

[Beren Ongur]

Time is a medicine when used well. Thank you for your good comments and taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I wish your wife patience as well. Good days should always be remembered

[Vol]

Berenongur,
In the crazy swirl of memories, of love, of loss, of the voiceless void of missing faces like all the leaves falling from the tree at once, it is impossible to capture the fullness of it all. Until you put it down on paper, like this, as you have done... The captured word is not tamed, but corralled. I do not know how old you are, or where you live, but your feelings are universal.
Vol
P.S. I found a couple of typos... read it out loud, you'll see what I mean.

[Beren Ongur]

first of all i am so sorry can you help me with those, english is not my native language. i couldn't even read the review cause of PS

[Beren Ongur]

All emotions are universal, in different forms. Sometimes we experience different pains even with the same person. My brother also lost his father, we both lost the same person in the same way, yet we are different people and experienced this pain differently.
This is life.
Thank you for reading. Your comments will always be valuable

[Vol]

Okay,
Last line first stanza...
"After that rain it didn't worth to see the rainbow"read moreOkay,
Last line first stanza...
"After that rain it didn't worth to see the rainbow"
"After that rain I couldn't see the rainbow."

"Even turning on the lights and drawing the curtains was a movement full of bright."
"Lights on with the curtains open revealed nothing"

These are only suggestions that help with the flow.
Your imagery is genius, though! Impressive!
Vol

[Beren Ongur]

thank you so much for your time to help me. i appreciate it. take care! have a nice evening

[Vol]

:-) ..............